Tevun-Krus #6 - Superhuman

Smith & Jones

This month's sticky situation of the infamous Smith & Jones is brought to you by out TKV contest winner, @elveloy. 

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Smith looked around hastily, where were they this time?  And more importantly, was anyone about to attack them?

He only just managed to choke back a small scream as he saw a sinister black figure standing where Jones had been only a moment before.  It was covered in some sort of shiny black skin with two pointed ears on the top of its head.  But what was particularly alarming, was that the creature appeared to be eating a small furry animal.

Smith patted himself frantically around the waist, searching for a non-existent weapon.

"It's alright, it's me," came a familiar voice.   A finger came up and tugged awkwardly at the edge of the mask.  "I don't think these things were meant for beards," Jones complained.  "Even elegant ones like mine."

But Smith had stopped paying attention.  He was staring down at himself in horror.  Where were his trousers?  It looked for all the world as if he was wearing his underpants on the outside of a pair of stockings, and lurid blue stockings at that. 

"What the fuck?"  The exclamation came from Kris, and for once, Smith felt that really summed it up in the only possible way.

Suddenly self-conscious, he covered his crotch with his hands.  Both men turned as one to gaze reproachfully at their companion.  "So what part of the loop is this then?"  asked Jones, unsuccessfully repressing a snigger as he caught sight of Smith in all his glory.

Kris meanwhile was distracted by her own costume.  Instead of her all-encompassing leather outfit, she was now sporting a pair of red boots, topped by a metallic brassiere and cute little blue and white shorts.  The outfit showed a lot of skin.  Kris snarled.  Someone, somewhere, was going to pay for this.

"I didn't think your clothes were supposed to be affected by the loop?"  queried Smith, with a trace of suspicion.

Before she could answer, an unknown voice spoke from behind them.

"Excuse me.  I know we haven't been introduced yet, but I think you should know

we are about to have company."

Kris spun around, her outstretched foot sending the small robot which had been talking, flying head over heels until it came to an ungainly heap against the wall.  

"Who are you?" Kris demanded. 

The small robot didn't answer but a piece of toast popped out of a slot on its head.

Smith brightened considerably.  "That's handy.  Now if we only had a cup of tea to go with the toast."  He turned to Jones for agreement, but Jones was staring wide eyed at something over Smith's shoulder.

Smith and Kris both spun around.  A large green man was striding towards them.  He looked angry and alarmed at the same time.  "Guards!  To me!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.  "Imposters!"  He thrust his out his right hand and a beam of green light headed straight for them.

Kris flung up her hand instinctively and an invisible force flung the green man backwards.  Smith couldn't tell who was more astonished, Kris or the green assailant.

"I know where we are now!" Kris announced triumphantly.  "Super Human, or in this case I suspect, Super Hero.  And if I'm any judge, we've landed on the Moon, in the Justice League Watchtower, to be precise."

"Really?" said Smith, feeling a trifle excited.  "What does that mean?"

 "Follow me!"  ordered Kris, leaping into the air and landing on top of the green man.  Without really thinking, Smith found himself flying through the air after her.  Kris whipped out a lasso and before anyone could blink, had the green man trussed into a tight bundle.

Smith hit the wall, at the same time as Jones leapt into the air and fell back almost immediately.

"Hey!" Jones protested, "Not fair!  Why can't I do that?"

Kris rolled her eyes. 

Leaving her captive on the floor, Kris strode across to the small robot.  "Sorry about that," she said.  "You startled me.  Are you okay?"

While the humans, or possibly super humans, had been fighting, H'ver had spent the time trying to remember where he had come from, why he had left there, wherever it was, and what he was doing here.

H'ver realised he was different from the rest before he came off the conveyor belt.  Not one of the others spoke to him, neither the one before him or the one behind.  He just had time to wonder where they were all going before he came out into a huge open space, filled with sudden light that made his eyes water.

"Here we are!" said a satisfied voice from above his head.  "The 'Housewife's Dream', absolutely the latest model, top of the range."

"Let's test it," exclaimed another voice.

H'ver turned to try and see who was speaking.  He cleared his throat, ready to introduce himself, when suddenly he was grabbed and lifted up into the air.  He felt dizzy, struggling not to lose the contents of his stomach as he was swung upside down then set upright again on the floor.

"Hey!  Steady on there, chaps!" he protested, smiling weakly.

Two faces stared at him, open mouthed.  And very peculiar they looked too.  No shiny steel attachments, no wheels, no beautiful blue Bakelite body.  How would they clean a house, let alone cook toast and boil an egg at the same time?

H'ver didn't like the way they were staring at him.  What were they intending to do with those metal bars that had suddenly appeared in their hands?

He was backing away nervously when a bright white light appeared ...

"Are you okay?"  The voice broke into his thoughts.  Rather warily, H'ver righted himself and did a quick stocktake.  To his relief, everything appeared to be in working order, apart from a nasty dent in his vacuum tube.

"I am undamaged, thank you," he replied.  "For the most part," he added, looking a little sadly at the dent.

 "I could get used to this place,"  Smith was saying, swooping clumsily around the room.  "I just need a bit of practice."

Jones was still jumping up and down, trying to fly.

Kris frowned thoughtfully.  Actually, when you ignored the dicky costume, she quite liked the idea of having super powers.  She was just wondering who she had to talk to to arrange to stay in this genre a bit longer when ...