Thoughts of a conceded girl

Lets get personal (intro)

Hi, I want to introduce myself before you start reading. I'm totally exploiting myself in this: my hopes, dreams, taste, history, sexuality, preferences and every damn secret.

My name is Jewel. I'm not giving away my real name, since some of my friends are on  Wattpad. That didn't make sense & I don't care.

This story thing is going to be a roller coaster.

I'm not sure how to start so I'll just expose my self, plain & simple.

I want to have sex and act like I've had a lot of sex but I haven't and I hate my body. People say I'm "curvy" and "slim-thick" but I'm not.

Prepare yourself for self-pitting (as my mom always said)

I have so many disorders because my mom took such poor care of me and my siblings growing up. We all have issues and my entire childhood was a mirage. Child services agents were the only constant in our lives.

I don't want that for my future children, if I have any. I want children but I don't want another Mini me - or a mini Lynn (my mother, I'm not afraid to say her name). I'm petrified of being infertile or something happening when I have kids.

I'm currently living at my sisters house since my old house with my dad was a shit show. Thats a story for another chapter.

I'm so scared of fucking up my future. I want so much in my life and I want so little. One day I want to be a writer. The next an actress. Then a week later I want to be a housewife. Then I want to workout and become some kind of athlete.

Then sometimes, I want to be a groupie, hopping on the stars and then having their baby - but not telling them, I'm not that kind of person, I don't want to steal their money I want to steal their looks - then raising a beautiful child. I really hope I'm never going to be jealous of my children.

Enough about that, you'll learn more. Sorry in advance for how bad this will be.

My current instagram is @nostopholland (roleplay, yes I'm one of those people) m

XOXO gossip girl.... sorry I had to.