Schism

Chapter 29 part 1

She had put him there.  She had done this to him, when she should have helped him.  The same day they had become engaged she had decided that he was insane and needed medical help.  But there had been a quiet voice in her mind that had told her she could help William somehow, that she wouldn't be able to make the voices go away, but could still help him.  Instead, she had shut him out of her life and locked him away.  It had chewed away at her for the last two years.

But he was insane.  That was obvious.  He had turned out to be just like the others, not someone special, but someone damaged that was trying to take advantage of her.

Jess clenched her teeth together and fought to hold her resolve.  The doctors had said that schizophrenia was generally not curable, that he would at the very least be on medication for the rest of his life, if not in an institution, but Jess had done it to help him.  What she had done, it must have been the right thing.

She took a step back.

"Stop."  His voice was tired, out of breath.  Jess froze again.  The entrance couldn't be too far.  If she got there, he might not follow her inside.  She took another step.

"Stop," William said.  Louder this time, but his voice sounded different, stronger.

She stopped, listened all around.  If she called out, would anyone hear, would they come to help her?

"Reach straight back with your right hand," he said.  He sounded like his old self.  Even the unused, raspy tone was gone from his voice.

She waited a moment before doing what he told her.  Was he trying to distract her?  She would fight back if he came at her.  She knew what to grab, where to dig her thumbs in, and even a few good chokes.  But he could overpower her.  She had once loved how strong he was.  Bryan had told her some of the things William had done since the escape, how much stronger and faster he seemed to be now.  Would he hurt or kill her?  Was he so angry with her, for what she had done to him, that he would do that?

Her fingers felt back, she extended her arm and twisted a bit to the side to reach out.  Something solid, cold, stood there: the lamp post.  She would have backed into it, and as dizzy as she was, she probably would have tripped, landed hard on the sidewalk.

He wasn't angry, or trying to hurt her.  He was trying to protect her.

"She's inside waiting for you," William said.  "They say I have to go, find someplace to sleep."  She heard him pause.  "It was good to see you.  I didn't think it would be."

More footsteps, retreating.  "William.  Wait," Jess said.  But the sound of his steps kept moving away until it died in the noise of the city. 

Jess leaned against the post, tried to re-gather her resolve.  She had done it for his own good.  There was nothing she could have done to help him.  But the voice inside told her that wasn't the truth.  She could do more, much more if she tried.

A cold wind picked up the hem of her dress and she walked inside and down the hall, still spinning a little from the drinks.  As she neared her door, she heard breathing.  She stopped, hand on her keys in her small purse.

"Ms. Moore?"  A woman's voice.  "I'm Doctor Susan Westen.  We spoke on the phone earlier this week."

William had said that a woman was waiting inside.  He must have been waiting for Jess outside and had seen the doctor come in.  She put her hand out and the doctor shook it with her left in an awkward overhand grip.  "You haven't been waiting long, I hope."

"A little over an hour."  Jess could hear tension, exasperation in Westen's voice.

That meant William must have been outside her apartment for that hour, probably more, waiting there.  The tide in her conflicting thoughts shifted against him.  She pushed the urge to help him away, shut that voice out.  Everything rational told her he was dangerous and was stalking her.

"I'm sorry you waited," Jess said.  "What brings you here so late?"

"I need to talk to you about William Adams," Westen said.

Jessica nodded, opened the door and ushered the doctor in.  She fought against the alcohol to keep her expression neutral.  The doctor would easily see anything that she let show.  She waved to the couch and heard the doctor suck in a breath as she sat.  She was hurt, Jess remembered.  William had broken her hand.

Jess sat down with her.  She could tell the doctor that she had just talked with William outside, but wanted to hear what the doctor said first.  "Is there something new?"

"Yes.  I believe he's escaped to try to kill you."

Jess couldn't keep from showing her confusion.  She had convinced herself not to trust William, but he had just shown that he didn't want to kill her.  He had tried to keep her safe.  It was only from a small thing like a fall to the sidewalk, but it was obvious he didn't want to harm her.

Westen went on.  "I'm afraid his mental illness has taken a turn into delusional, psychopathic behavior.  In our sessions recently, he spoke more of you, and became more agitated and aggressive.  I thought I should warn you."

That didn't ring true either.  Bryan hadn't said anything about William being more aggressive before the escape.  And if the doctor had wanted to warn her, why hadn't she done so when he had first escaped, nearly a week ago.  "Is that so," she said, voice neutral.

"Also, I'd like to ask if you have any information that could help us find him.  I'm working with the police on the investigation and we're desperate for anything that will lead us to him so we can bring him back into custody and help him."

And that was a blatant lie.  After his car had caught fire, Bryan had told Jess that the doctor had been there, and that she was interfering with his search for William.

The doctor was quiet for a moment and Jess nearly jumped when she felt Westen's hand on her bare knee.  "Please, let me help protect you.  Considering your situation, I'm convinced you're his target."

Jess peeled her leg away from the doctor's hand, stood up.  "My situation?  Which situation would that be?"

"Ms. Moore, I understand that you're upset, this must have been a very trying week for you.  I didn't mean to imply anything about your capabilities."  The doctor paused.  "I simply mean that he attacked me when I was vulnerable, caring for another patient.  You live alone and I believe he might be targeting women."

That claim had a stench on it too.  "Doctor, I'm not anyone's target.  I was the one who had William committed when I found out he wasn't well.  I am not some passive wallflower waiting to be saved.  I'm already working with the police, who will find William.  You needn't concern yourself with me."

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