So Ask The Body

Chapter 2

​Juniper froze when the man on the stage removed his mask. The pit that she felt in her stomach became a void, one that she was desperate to climb into and disappear. Krissy was oblivious to her sudden panic.

​"Savage? Really?" Krissy shoved her cat mask over her head.
​
With shaky hands, Juniper clutched at her owl mask and began to slip it off. Slow breaths—you can do it, she encouraged herself. When the roar of the crowd went up around her, she slipped her mask down and gazed back at the man who barely resembled the boy in her memories. Back when they were classmates, Calvin was a gangly boy with a cap of brown hair. Like her, he was one of the quieter students; regardless of the friends he had—for he was friend to most—Juniper would always find him in an empty room. Sometimes he secluded himself to a seat at the back, an open book on his chest while he dozed off, or skipped a class. Other times, he brooded as he stared out the windows.

It wouldn't be until much later that Juniper would learn the reason for him sneaking off for solitude.
​
Her memories of the boy jarred with the present. Like missing moments of their childhood, Calvin's adult features were mostly unknown to her in the darkness of the ballroom. Yet with the lights bouncing with the DJ's music, she would find bits and pieces revealed to her; a sharp jawline would come to focus before it melded into the dark. Another slash of light would hint at broad shoulders, with hair that brushed them. Calvin's gray eye flashed at her before the lights changed with the music.

Juniper felt a chill then. Just as she was observing him, Calvin also regarded her, but with an intensity that nearly pinned her on the spot. The spell was broken when the emcee began to chat with him. With that brief pause, Juniper tore through the dancers around her.

​"Juni!" Krissy cried out to her, but Juniper barely glanced back at her. She needed to get out, and now.

The double doors banged shut behind her, immediately cutting off the music and the heat of all her classmates gathered there. Juniper blinked wildly, her eyes adjusting to the bright lights around her. The hall was quiet save for the few waiters on their break. One guy squatted nearby, the light of his cellphone casting his face in a white, ghostly glow. He merely quirked a brow at her before he returned his attention to his phone.

The hallway stretched out in front of her with its dark blue carpeting. When Juniper first came to The Jewel, she admired the plush floors, and the gold-trimmed mirrors that lined at both walls. Yet as she began to rush down the hall, she hated it all; the carpet made her feet clumsy, and the mirrors exposed her as a phantom jumping in and out of existence.

​If only... she thought.

She felt stupid—there was no way that she was ready to face her peers, to face him. She thought that, after all these years, the shy, awkward girl she used to be would have transformed for the better. She thought that, before this moment, her life would be set. Her college years were fine—it took months, but finding herself in a new place with people that didn't know her, made her determined to build herself up. It was there when she started her own, personal projects; from speaking up in class, to actually introducing herself to seatmates when she would usually shy away or rush out upon dismissal. She even started to experiment with the way she looked. She tried makeup by adding some colors to her eye lids and her lips, and then trying a face full of foundation. The clothes she used to wear—her beloved baggy shirts, or loose sweatpants—were replaced with blouses that showed more of her shape, and the occasional skirt.

At first she felt awkward, and there were many times when she wanted to shed off the new clothes, just to return to something safer and familiar. But the more days passed, the more she became accustomed to them. Even her peers began to take notice of her "coming out," and Juniper would always blush whenever a compliment came her way. It didn't take long for her to also change her views on her body.