Breathe

01

1..2..3.. Deep breath in 1..2..3.. you're fine. Take deep breaths..1..2..3.. breathe. Your anxiety is taking over.
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Beep...Beep...Beep I hit snooze on my alarm clock, school is hell, always a constant dread every morning. I hate myself. Why am I not popular? Is it because of my anxiety attacks? I roll out of bed. Dragging myself to get ready. I apply makeup to cover my tear stained cheeks and red puffy eyes. I hate myself. Why am I here? My mom abuses me and my dad ignores me. I run downstairs to eat breakfast and brush my teeth. My teeth won't ever be good, I can't afford braces. I have to work a minimum wage job, because my mom doesn't work, she just drinks beer and eats McDonald's. I check the time and run to my bus-stop. Everyone stares at me and starts gossiping. My life's a lie. This is living hell. Hopefully one day I'll have a friend. I just don't get it, I do everything right and still get treated like I am a piece of trash on the ground.
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We get to school and I head to class, getting bad looks from everyone as I pass by. Sometimes I cry openly, everyone knows I am depressed, yet no one wants to help. I cry myself to sleep most nights, swirling my emotions around and around in my head. Two years ago my only friend died of brain cancer, now that the only thing I could hold onto, to breathe, left. Now I'm digging a hole deeper and deeper. Each day I breathe. Maybe one day I'll be happy or have hope, but day by day, hour by hour, my sadness is eating me alive. Depression and anxiety love each other, they love to mix and bring me down. My life is not fun. To make matters worse my mom is getting deported, because the police found her working without a visa as an illegal immigrant. I am legal though, my mom had me right when we got in the u.s. I've been so thankful that I am legal. I won't be like my mom. I will find my way out of sadness. But right now I'm burying myself deeper and deeper in hell.
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Author- just let you guys know this book may have short chapters but I will be publishing frequently and Summer is coming up so I will be able to write a lot more. Thank you!