As A Friend

32: Drunk Card

"Because I didn't want to be rejected," I tell him with a sigh.

"You're kidding me, right?" he replies.

"I didn't want to deal with the awkwardness. Even now I'm scared because I don't know what's going to change. But I'm also relieved because I've kept all of this in for a while now. I just can't keep pretending to be okay with casual sex and all of that-," I rant but he cuts me off.

"Nova," he starts as he lightly shakes my legs again to get my attention, "you're kidding me, right?"

I stare at him in confusion. "What?" I retort.

"I've been actively pursuing you for the past year and you've blocked every single shot I've taken," he explains. When he notes my curious and slightly confused gaze, he sighs. "Nova, I flirted with you every single day since I met you! I introduced you to my parents! I stopped sleeping around! My friends literally harass me about it- even in front of you! What did you think all of that was for?"

"So you like me?" I conclude.

"So much! That's new information to you?" he responds with a look of shock on his face. "You're telling me you didn't already know?"

"No! I just thought you were a flirt! You never outright said anything!" I respond.

"I dropped everything to come over here just to kiss you and you weren't aware that I liked you, Nova? Seriously?" he complains.

"I just thought you were sexually frustrated! I knew you were going through a dry spell," I excuse. "As for everything else, I just thought that's how you treat your best friend!"

"Why would I ask you to marry me if I only saw you as my best friend?" he asks with narrowed eyes.

"I don't know! I just thought you were a flirt," I reiterate. "Why couldn't you tell that I liked you? I made it obvious."

"Because everytime I flirted with you, you'd reject me! Until you just stopped and everything just got twenty times more confusing from there!" he explains.

"I literally had sex with you," I respond. "And you didn't think I liked you?"

"I just thought you were feeling sexually liberated!" he retorts.

"What about the jealous breakdown I had?" I suggest.

"I just thought you were upset because you didn't like Raven!" he answers. "Maybe if you didn't have Eli bobbing and weaving through all of this, I'd have made myself more clear."

"Oh I don't want to hear that Mr. Secret Group Chat Conversations," I retort.

"Those messages were literally the guys telling me to just suck it up and tell you how I feel!" he explains. "That's all they were! They were trying to convince me that you like me. The text you saw in the car was Jack bringing up the so-called jealous breakdown you had about Raven!"

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I demand. "You're supposed to be the outgoing one who's open to everything and anything."

"Why didn't you just tell me? If I'm so open to everything and anything, why wouldn't I be open to having that conversation?" he retorts.

"I was going to but you freaked out when I told you I loved you so I got scared," I blurt.

"You meant that?" he asks in a quiet voice. I stare at him for a few seconds before turning my gaze to the ceiling.

"Yeah, I did," I finally reveal.

"I feel like I'm going to pass out," he confesses. "This is all happening so fast."