Forbidden

Part Four

 skin•ny love:
(/’skiné/ /lǝv/)
when two people love each other but they are too shy to admit it but they still show it

Austin and Josh had connected a lot better than Taylor had planned. Both interested in business and politics left a lot of room for conversation in the back of the boat, while the girls sat at the front of the boat. They had inserted a cushion in the middle section to make one large cushion to sit comfortably. The space was large enough to to sit up an extend their long legs as they faced away from the boys and watched the once bright day taking it’s turn into a sunset. The boat stay anchored in a cove, free of other boats or anyone who might interrupt their leisure time on the lake.

 ”Beats the other day..” Karlie said quietly, laughing a little at the thought. 

 Taylor smiled, “It wasn’t that bad.”

 Karlie was going to remark at how terrified she looked but she shook her head instead, smiling at the view in front of her. She’d had the night memorized, from the beginning when they’d first pushed the canoe out to the turn of events that sent them sprinting for the car. They’d headed out, Karlie letting Taylor row as they talked about anything that came to mind; boys, music, celebrities they’d worked with, Josh, and the tour Taylor had just finished up. It was nice to be around someone who could take pleasure in simple things even if she had the money to have a date on the moon, and Karlie had enjoyed that. Taylor was simple, easy to talk to, and didn’t have her head in the clouds, which had been hard to find with other celebrities. Josh, who was no where near as successful money wise with his insurance company even had his head in the cloud sometimes which made him hard to be around at times.

 ”What if none of this had ever happened,”Taylor asked, interrupting Karlie’s thoughts. 

 The supermodel looked over, “Singing?” 

 ”Singing, you modeling. We’d be two complete different people, you know?” Taylor was like that, to reflect on everything and Karlie had become use to it. If Karlie wanted to disappear and never set foot in the modeling world she could slip away unnoticed but Taylor could never go back and she didn’t believe the girl ever wanted to.

 ”We would have never met.” Karlie said, not completely sure where she was going with the subject, “Which is kind of crazy now that I see you all the time. I’d say I miss you but I couldn’t miss something I never had, I suppose.” Or could she? Looking over at Taylor she didn’t understand why their conversations always had to end on a deep note. Or why something accidentally had to be said that metaphorically could relate to something else.

 Taylor smiled, “You’d never met Josh.”

 Karlie smiled a little, “Yeah..I know.”

 There was a silence, because there was always a silence at some point in their conversation. 

   ”Do you think you’re going to marry him?” Taylor asked quietly, considering the boys were in the back of the boat, not able to make out what they’re saying, but still there.

   Karlie was taken back by the question. Her mouth opened to answer but nothing came out so she gave herself a second to repeat the question in her mind. “No..” She said, “I don’t..I can’t see myself marrying him. He’s great, really but to be honest, our feelings for each other sort of left a while ago. We’re just really good friends who are too naive to really think about any type of future.”

   Her fingers picked at her sweater as she admitted something she’d only ever thought about. She’d never once even dreamed about bringing it up to Josh, as both never knew any different then to be with each other and she hadn’t till recently ever being any different. 

   There it was again, that tension. Not the bad kind but the one were both knew what the other was thinking. 

   A week ago both of them stood in Taylor’s apartment, Karlie ready to leave with two jars of Jam in either hand; cheesy puns with the word jam written on each in the blonde’s distinct hand writing. Before then everything had been fine and her friend had innocently invited her over to pick up the decorated jelly she’d made for her. Before she left Taylor had gained the nerve to plant a small kiss on her cheek. Maybe the kiss had been innocent after but something about it was a test of how far she’d been willing to go to feed whatever feelings she’d had for the girl.

   Karlie had stopped looking at her somewhere in the silence and inched her hand over towards Taylor’s. It wasn’t too noticeable, considering they had been sitting right next to one another and the gesture could be seen as Karlie moving her hand from her lap to her side. When even Taylor didn’t notice she licked her lips and without breathing slipped her hand into the smaller girl’s, waiting for her reaction. When the blonde didn’t pull away Karlie relaxed, and when she smiled, she let out a breath giving a smile back.