Loyalty

Chapter 15: Drunk.

"Jess, what happened to you? Why did you do this?" I asked her.

"Do what? Drink? Am I not allowed? I'm not a child, Brian," she said.

"But you've never done this before. This isn't like you. It's worrying me," I told her.

"Did you come here to lecture me?" she asked.

"No. I came to apologize for how I left things," I tried to explain to her.

Jess wasn't being very responsive, and in her drunken state, it was difficult to be rational with her. But I could also sense that the alcohol in her system was going to cause her to burst. She wasn't going to hold back her feelings anymore.

"You... you ruined my life. Do you know that?" she asked.

I had no idea what she meant. But at this point, I felt like it was pointless to try and make sense of her drunk ranting.

"No, I didn't know that. Why is that?" I asked her.

"Because I thought I had it all figured out until you came along. Then you confused me..." she told me.

"I'm sorry, Jess," I told her, for what felt like the hundredth time.

"You... you know how hard it was for me to see you with her? I had to watch you be with that gold-digging whore. It drove me crazy. I knew she wasn't right for you. You deserve so much better than her," she told me.

I felt like the comments about my ex were a little harsh, but Jess was probably right. But I had broken up with Lexi MONTHS ago. I didn't see why this was still an issue. I had apologized to Jess about the situation countless times, but clearly she still wasn't over it.

"But she's gone now Jess," I tried to tell her.

"I know, I know. But the damage has already been done."

"Then how can I fix it?" I asked her. I wasn't really expected to get a true answer, especially in her current state.

"Kiss me."

I laughed, assuming it was a joke. She couldn't have been serious. It had to be the alcohol talking.

"You don't mean that."

"Come on... Don't you know I'm in love with you too? Why else would I be acting this way?"

"I don't know why you're acting this way..." I told her.

Maybe I should've been startled to hear her say she as in love with me. But she was just drunk. I didn't trust anything she said. I also didn't have anything to compare it to, since I've never seen her drunk before. I couldn't allow myself to possibly believe that Jess was in love with me too. I didn't want to get my hopes up and find out the next morning that it was just some drunken mistake. I was just trying to protect my already fragile heart.

"You don't believe me?" she asked.

"No. I don't," I told her.

Jess put on this pouty face, and she was frustrated that I wasn't taking her feelings seriously. She stepped closer towards me, but I kept pulling away. I didn't want her to do something she'd regret in the morning. I could tell that Jess was becoming annoyed, and she developed this little smirk on her face. She lifted her shirt up over her head, and threw it on the ground next to her. For a moment, I was just staring at her in her bra, admiring her beauty. But I had to snap out of it. This wasn't right.

"Jessica, please put your shirt back on," I insisted.

"No," she said, defiantly.

Jess stepped closer towards me, and this time I had trouble pulling away. She ran her fingers up and down my arms, grazing me slightly. She started to lean in like she was about to kiss me, and I had to pull away. I couldn't let it happen like this.

"Jessica, stop. You're not acting like yourself," I told her.

"Come on, Brian. We both want it. I know you've wanted me for so long... Just do it already..." she begged me.

It took every ounce of self-restraint I had not to take her up on that offer. She's right, I have wanted her for so long. But if it was ever going to happen between the two of us, this was not how it was going to start. No matter how badly I wanted her, I could never take advantage of her. But it was killing me inside. As much as I would've loved to accept her advances, I couldn't do it under these circumstances.

"Jessica, STOP. Please. This is not going to happen right now," I told her.

She got frustrated again, pouting at me with her sad face.

"Fine. Then just leave," she said, pointing at the door.

"Absolutely not."

"Why? If you're just going to reject me, you should just leave," she told me.

"Because you're scaring me right now. I'm not leaving until I know that you're okay. I'll sleep here if I have to," I insisted.

After all the times Jess has helped me out while I was drunk, this was the least I could do for her. She always made sure I was okay before leaving me. I knew that I had to do the same for Jess. But it was especially frightening to see Jess in this state because I had never seen her drunk before. I didn't know what she would do. I felt like I had to protect her. I also felt incredibly guilty about being the reason she got drunk in the first place. I never wanted this to happen.

Jess let out a heavy sigh but eventually agreed. "Fine...Then I'm going to bed," she told me.

"That's probably a good idea," I told her.

Jess started walking towards her room, but she was stumbling. I held on to her so she was leaning against me, and started helping her to the bedroom. But I knew I had to make sure this didn't turn into anything. I led her to the bed and tucked her in. I watched as she fell asleep almost instantly. She must have been exhausted. I decided to lay down and sleep on the floor next to her. I wanted to be right there just in case she needed me.

After dealing with a drunk Jess, I had so much more respect for her. She always took care of me when I was drunk, and never complained about it. Jess was always so good to me. Always so patient. Oh great, another reason to make me love her. As if I needed any more reasons. Tomorrow morning should be interesting...