Tempted (#Wattys2015)

Tempted:69:

"It's ok," I coaxed, pulling her onto my lap and wrapped my arms around her. "You can keep going."

"Last night you asked me if I was happy...you told me I seemed so happy...and I told you that I felt like at first it just seemed like a vacation..."

"Yeah?"

"I guess you - I just. I'm trying to wrap my head around everything...and yesterday I think I realized how unhappy I was - but I don't want you to think that it's us - or you - or even being here. I'm...I'm unhappy with myself. I think we both already knew that when I wasn't eating. I couldn't stop thinking about that yesterday. I never thought I'd be like that," She leaned back into me, resting her head on my shoulder. I really hated myself - I still kind of do. I know you're doing everything you can - Justin, you make me feel so beautiful. You really really do...but when I look in the mirror I don't see that person you see and I don't know why - I do I guess. I haven't felt comfortable with myself since Christian, and I know it could have been so much worse, but it wasn't.Then there was everything else and before I knew it I was comparing myself to people...I don't like what I see, I-I don't like feeling this way about any of it. I'm tired of feeling like a burden to you and-"

"Hey," I turned her by her chin again, wiping a tear away with my thumb. "The last thing you will ever be to me is a burden, ok?"

"Ok," She let out a deep breath, resting her head against my cheek. "I just - I want to feel good about myself. I can't make you happy until I'm happy. I'm going to fix that. I want to fix that. We have a fresh start now, and I want to take advantage of that. It's not fair to you."

I nuzzled my nose against her temple, kissing the skin below.

"I love you. I love you so much."

"I know, and I love you too."

"I know." I smiled, hugging her in my arms. "I do think you're beautiful. Hell, no one on this earth even compares to you. One day you're going to see it. I hope you know I support you and there's not a single thing I wouldn't do for you. The same way you are with me and my addictions. It is a similar thing and I am going to continue to treat you like a princess. I hate seeing you sad."

"I hate you seeing it- or hearing me-"

"Don't." I shook my head, kissing her skin again. "It's part of my job."

"So, should we go for that run now?" She asked, whiping her eyes a final time with the back of her hands.

"Yeah, sure." I nodded, running my hand on her back before she got up and started to get dressed.

"I'm lucky I brought my old track shoes with me." She said tucking back her hair and pulled on a pair of running shorts after slipping on a sports bra.

"Wait, you did track? When?"

"Freshman, sophmore, and junior year. You didn't know that?"

"Um, no." I shook my head, watching her as she bent down to put on her shoes.

I could not understand how she didn't see how beautiful she was, I mean I did - not like that - I just knew what she was saying.

"Are you going to get dressed, or are you going to keep staring?" She asked, a little smirk forming at the corner of her mouth.

"Oh -I-uh, right." I cleared my throat, rubbing the back of my neck with my palm and grabbed a pair of my boxers, and then my shorts. "I'm not wearing a shirt out there."

"Neither am I."

"Good." I grinned to myself, sneaking a peek at her as she was pulling her hair up in a ponytail.