Saudade (Published under Indie Pop)

Chapter 39: A New Perspective

I refused to leave the room for the rest of the journey. It was my last act of resistance, a last fight for a losing battle. And when I felt the ship dock on the port, I stood up and prepared myself. A soft knock on the door caught my attention and I waited until Tarnus opened it.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

I nodded and followed him to the deck. We remained silent the whole time and I was grateful because I didn't want him to see how unwilling I was to be home. I stopped before I reached the entrance to the deck. I scanned the interior of the marine ship and continued walking. It was tiring and weakening that every step I took seemed to be heavy. It was like there was a weight that was pulling my feet from moving towards the end of the deck.

I sighed as my feet landed on the canoe that would bring me to the shore. Tarnus remained at my side probably hinting my uneasiness with the situation. I looked straight ahead and I saw people in elegant gowns and clothes standing on the edge of the shore. It almost looked like a festival was happening because of the colorful dresses they were wearing. I spotted my parents few meters from the shore - and I focused on them. The image of their happy faces seemed to lift a part of the heaviness in my heart. It was the only hope I could grasp at the moment so I held on to it.

I breathed deeply when the canoe reached the shore. I knew that the moment I step on the sand, things would never be the same - my world would forever change. Tarnus got off first before offering his hand so he could help me out of the canoe. I took it and watched my feet touched the sand. And as I looked up to the eager faces watching me, I knew that I would be seeing things differently.

My mother ran to my direction and I found myself in her arms. I returned her embrace and was happy that I once again felt her warmth. My father was on her side and when my mother finally released my body, his arms welcomed me.

"Oh, my child! They didn't hurt you, did they?" I felt my mother's fingers brushed gently against my hair. She pulled me gently from my father only to inspect if I was wounded. She sighed in relief when she realized that I was fine. If only she knew that the wound I was enduring at the moment was buried at the deepest of my heart - cutting my soul and tainting the hope I had.

"I am so happy to have you back, my little one. My heart was dying every single day I woke up without you by our side. Please promise me that you will never be away from us again." My mother broke down in tears and I pulled her in my arms, suppressing my own cries.

"I'm longing for you, mother," I whispered and I hoped that with this, she could feel how much I loved her.

I was being selfish by not becoming fully happy of the idea of finally being home. Part of my heart was probably left in the middle of the sea, floating to nothingness, but my love for my family was unquestionable. They were the only thing constant in this forever changing world.

"Oh, dear, it must be terrible being taken away by those pirates. Don't worry, the mainland will give you justice," she said, still concerned.

The mainland will give justice. Somehow, the combination of mainland and justice seemed to be troubling. If I wasn't able to meet the pirates and the people of the Forsaken Land, I would have trusted it. But at that moment, I found myself doubting as I scanned my eyes to the people surrounding us. They all smelled of wealth and expensive perfume, they were a picture of elegant clothes and bountiful homes. And it all felt surreal after living beyond the mainland - beyond the horizon. It all felt deceptive.

"The rooms in the castle are prepared for my dear guests. The dinner must be ready in a couple of hours. You can stay with us for the night," Lord Magnus Weston's voice was as clear as a bomb in a chaos. I looked at him and was met by the same gray eyes. Even though this pair was old and wrinkled, it still possessed the authority the family's blood carried.