Habits of My Heart

Chapter 2

Mason had been even more distant than usual and Beca had definitely noticed. It hurt her to see him like that but she could only think of herself as a teenager. She did the same thing and she had no idea what to say to her son.

Mason came walking down the stairs with his snapback and jacket on. Beca watched him move across the room to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Beca asked.

Mason shrugged and grabbed his skateboard.

Beca felt helpless and she wanted to do so much. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to tell him it was okay. She wanted to help him but she just couldn't.

Beca watched her son leave and she sighed.

Mason went to the skate park but he didn't actually skate. He hung around with some kids from school who brought weed when they would hang out. They spent their nights smoking and drinking to have fun. But for Mason he didn't do it for fun. He did it for the pain. To cope.

Beca had known that he was smoking. It was undeniable. The smell coming from him when he came home late at night as he would slump to his bedroom.

"Why don't you ask him to play a videogame?" Chloe suggested the next morning as she was feeding their one year-old.

"You think?"

"I mean, I don't know what he'll say but you can always try." Chloe shrugged.

"You're right." Beca sighed and sat down with her wife and son.

Liam's face was a mess, his food all over the place.

Beca smiled. "I want to take Liam to the zoo next week." She mentioned.

Maddison was sitting at the other end of the table doing a puzzle. She was extremely focused, the tip of her tongue slightly out of her mouth as she tried to figure it out. However, as soon as the girl heard a word that was mentioned she snapped out of her trance and looked at her mom wide-eyed.

"The zoo?! Can we go? Please mommy can we go?"

Chloe chuckled. As Beca looked at her with a questioning look for permission, she nodded.

"We can go." Beca nodded at her daughter whose face lit up.

"Thank you mommy!"

Then Beca took a breath and got up off her chair. "Here goes to nothing."

She made her way upstairs and knocked on her son's bedroom door.

"What?"

"Want to play a game?"

"Nope."

"Come on we can play anything you want. GTA, Madden, you name it. I bet you'll beat me."

There was a short silence before her son answered again. "No thanks."

Beca let her head down and made her way to her home studio.

Chloe found her staring at her laptop's screen a couple of hours later.

"You've been down here too long."

Beca didn't respond.

"Come on Becs, stop it." Chloe said as she walked closer to her wife.

She took off her wife's headphones.

"Sorry." Beca swallowed feeling the lump that had formed in her throat.

"Don't be."

"I just don't know anymore." Beca admitted.

"Listen." Chloe sat down next to the brunette. "I know you feel helpless. I know how you feel. I get that you're worried. It's just.." she reached out for Beca's hand, "he's a good kid. He just isn't in a good place right now. But that's okay." Chloe took her wife's arm and pulled up her sleeve. She pointed to one of the tattoo's.