bittersweet [yoonmin]

26.

Jin rolls his eyes groaning. "You can't avoid your problems forever, Jimin."

Yoonji walks in and immediately lands eyes on me. I quickly look away avoiding her gaze. From the corner of my eye I see as she slowly walks towards, Jin.

As soon as she's got her back faced towards me I look at her. Her tiny frame is wrapped around that pink flower dress.

Hard to imagine what's underneath it.

•••

"Jimin."

My body freezes at the sound of my name coming from, Yoonji's mouth. My eyes stare at the door in front of me.

I can't even find the words to speak. It's like my tongue forgot my language. Her shoes approach me and she's now by my side.

I turn to face her who's nervously fidgeting. "Are you following me to track practice now? Was I not clear?"

She reaches over to touch my check. Her soft cold finger brushing over me makes me feel things I shouldn't.

"I'm sorry for what, Namjoon did. He shouldn't have."

I pull away fast before she continues to caress me because to be honest I wouldn't control myself to fall back in her arms.

"Stop following me around. I don't want to speak to you. I told you I want you out of my life."

"Jimin, I know this is difficult, but if you just gave me a chance—"

"Chance? Chance for what? To remove your penis?"

She starts blushing uncontrollably and I hate putting her on the spot, but my anger is too much to bottle up.

"If you would just let me explain—" her voice cracks.

"There's nothing to explain. Why don't you go date someone like you? Someone that's into penises and boobs, because I am not into that. I can't possibly date a person that can't even be identified as a female."

"I am a female."

"Female? What do you call that between your legs then? I have one too and I am not a female."

"When I was very sm—"

"I don't want to hear it. In fact I don't even care. I'm bothered by the fact that I made out with a dude. I don't really care about you."

"I know you're hurt by this situation. I am too. How do you think I feel, Jimin? I never meant to lie to you or make you feel this way. I'm so sorry for being a disappointment, but I am trying—"

"Trying to be a girl? You're failing. Have you seen the way you dress? It's ugly. Your makeup always makes you look like a clown. You always wear too much blush and wear extremely bright ass colors that don't even match. You're a failure at being a girl because you're not even one."

"But . . . you said . . ."

"That I liked your style? I lied. In fact I lied about everything. I never felt anything for you."

"You don't have to lie. I know—I know y-you—"

"I lied! Comprehend that? The reason why I ever talked to you was for a bet. My friends were going to give me 30 dollars each for getting laid. I was going to get paid to have sex with you.  Thank God you're a man. I wouldn't want to have sex with you even if you were a girl. Just look at yourself. Compare yourself to Jennie for example. See what you're lacking? Even if you were a girl you'd be a . . . fiasco, a catastrophe, a disaster. All you ever meant to me was 120 dollars. I was going to buy me some pretty nice shoes with that money you know? Too bad I'm not getting it anymore because . . ." I look down at her crotch then back at her, "You're lacking . . . you know. Oh and in case it's not clear enough we're not going to prom anymore. Jennie is coming with my now. I'm taking a real woman with me."

Yoonji's chin trembles and I force myself to smile even though I want to fall on my knees and break. She slaps me so hard I feel my cheek sting afterwards. Fat tears fall from her eyes and she begins sniffing. It takes every nerve in my body not to wrap my arms around her.

"You're an asshole. You don't have to be so cruel. You're just like Jackson. I know I'm a failure and a mistake you don't have to remind me. I remind myself every time when I look in the mirror. I hate you. I hate you so much, Park Jimin. I hate ever even meeting you."

She runs down the hall and I have to stop myself from running after her. I hate myself too. I hate myself so much for breaking her heart.

I feel like all of my bones in my body broke. My heart is no longer in place. It's being replaced by an empty hole. The image of Yoonji's face runs through my mind.

"Park you coming?" The coach asks opening the door. I wipe a tear that escaped my eye and nod my head looking down the hall. I'm hoping she will come back and just speak to me one more time, but after this I don't think she ever will.

"Yeah. I'll be right there coach."