Stupid Cupid

ix

I'm not sure when I knew but if I had to guess, it was probably about three seconds after we met: Stefan Schweiger would be my best friend forever. You know how it goes, you meet someone and instantly, you're like, "that's it, you are my bestest friend in all the world and nothing you could ever do will change that, even if you murdered a person, I'd still be there, with you, at your side, burying the body." That's what it was like between us. At least, that's what it had been like between us.

Having been friends for years, living together for a while, and travelling the world side by side, somewhere along the way my feelings for Stefan began to change and I didn't know how to react. If I told him, I risked ending a friendship that I valued more than my sistership with Romy, and if I didn't tell him, I'd end up hurting myself and pushing him into the arms of someone else. Stupidly, I chose the latter route, thinking that if I just give it time, the phase of being in love with my best friend would pass.

It never did but by the time I realised this, it was too late. I had somehow ended up as his wing person and the expectation of being his conduit to finding women was fixed. It kind of became an obsession to ensure that he gets a girlfriend because then I'd be able to get a boyfriend and learn to stop loving Stefan. But like I said, that didn't happen.

"What are you thinking of?" Stefan asked as he swam towards me, his blonde hair wet and sticking to his forehead. He always looked boyish with his hair covering his face and as soon as he was within touching distance, I reached out and pushed his hair away, staring into his blue eyes unashamedly. "Thank you."

"Gern geschehen," I reply, showing off another phrase I knew. Hey, I may not be fluent and I may not always get the syntax right but it's not like I'm entirely hopeless. "And to answer your question- I was just thinking how much I'm enjoying being here with you. The past few days haven't been as smooth sailing as usual and I started to miss this one-on-one time with you."

Stefan smiled as he inched closer, wrapping his arms around my waist as we stayed afloat in the lake. "I miss it too. I prefer it when it's just us."

Swallowing audibly, I force a polite smile onto my lips and turn my gaze away from him. With him being that close to me and feeling his skin against mine, not to mention the crazy sensation of his thumb drawing a circle on my lower back, I was resisting the temptation to kiss him to death. The way his words passed his lips in a breathy whisper had intoxicated me and if I wasn't careful, I'd surely do something I regret.

"Lena?" Stefan called out to me, one of his hands moving to my cheek and gently redirecting my focus back onto him. Keeping my eyes down, I tell myself not to look at him. Do not engage him. Do not get drawn in. Do not kiss him. Unfortunately, while my head is busy dictating what not to do, my heart throws caution to the wind and decides, bugger it, I'll just look at him. It was the wrong move. Stefan was closer than I imagined and as soon as he was within my sights, all I could see was the way his hooded eyes were dark with need and his lips were parted, his breath hot against my own lips. "Lena-"

Whatever he was about to say would remain a mystery. What was clear, however, was the fact that he was kissing me. Stefan Schweiger. Kissing me. Me. He commanded me in a way that I was sure should be illegal, no man should ever make a girl weak at the knees like this. Not that I'm really complaining because, God, he knows how to kiss. His lips moved gently against mine until I let out a soft moan and opened my mouth so that I could taste him. I wasn't disappointed as his tongue brushed against mine and quickly tangled, domineering me as he hastened and let his fingers wander to my hair, pulling gently so that I tipped my head back and he had better access.

Fuck me.

Not literally because there's a time and a place for that... although the time and place could be worse than here. Still, he is one hell of a kisser and it made me feel equal parts insatiable and insecure. If he was kissing me like this, he must be attracted to me. If he's kissing me like this, like a pro, that means that I'm probably the worst kisser in this kiss.

Suddenly, I felt Stefan swim forward, pushing me back towards the edge of the lake before his hands crept down to my legs and hiked them upwards, locking my feet behind his back. Pressed up against him like this, I could feel every ripple of muscle, the tension in his arms, the solid back, the excitement further south. Nothing was being left to the imagination apart from the obvious.

"Lena..." Stefan managed to rasp out when he pulled away for a second. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

I blinked. "What?"

"I've wanted to kiss you for so long," he explains. "I've wanted to kiss you for so long because... damn it, Lena, you are the woman I want."

I sighed. "Yeah? Ich habe dich geliebt für Jahre, verdammt. Stefan, ich liebe dich."

"Pardon?" Stefan pulls away from me and frowns. "Lena, did you just..."

"Deutsch gesprochen?" I smile, teasing him. "Yep. Although I think I was a little grammatically off. Ich liebe dich, Stefan. You don't have to say it back but I'm sick of hiding it from you. I have for years but not any more."

He grins. "Yeah? I suppose this would be the right time for me to tell you something, then. Ich liebe dich auch."