I'm still in pain yet I continue to carry on to help those around me
I want to show the world how I feel the pain and heartache that I carry
The fear in my heart of never truly living
People might saying I'm living but in reality I'm just throwing my life around as if it had no meaning
Hoping for someone one day holding on to me and telling me "Please stop it'd hurt me to lose you"
I want to feel wanted but if that's not possible then I'd long to feel nothing at all, to be able to walk this earth with no hint of emotion in my eye yet I'd still want to keep my smile as that is the only thing to connect me to my old self
I want to get up and walk away from the torture you caused me to show you that the monster you stopped from being what it was has returned to their old behavior because of the pain you caused me by going with him even though you told me not to worry that you were all mine
You worried about me getting hurt by him yet you choose his side as he was bleeding and still trying to stab me
Did you truly ever love me or was I a pawn in your twisted little game
Now it's my turn to play the game and I always win even once I lose at the end
This is about an ex but obviously not about the last one I wrote about
