Phoenix

Chapter 4

Jane's POV:

Just as Jared pulled out of the driveway Roger pulled in. I had gone behind his back when I invited Jared over so I knew there was quite a discussion coming. I went into the kitchen to start some coffee, pulling out creamer and mugs. Roger joined me a few minutes later, setting a pink pastry box on the counter before choosing his favorite oversized hand glazed mug, one I had picked him up on my travels.

"Was that Jared I saw leaving?" he asked.

I poked at the pink box and grinned at Roger. "I should have known when you said you'd pick up lunch..."

He smiled and shrugged. "Yeah, yeah. No changing the subject. That was Jared wasn't it?"

"It was."

He poured his mug of coffee and set it in front of his usual spot at the kitchen island, his face carefully neutral. "I thought we decided we didn't want whatever he was selling this year," he said.

I puffed my cheeks and let out a slow breath before I grabbed my mug and sat down at my own customary spot. "I think that was more you deciding. I just kept thinking about him. I felt like I owed him an apology for blowing him off like that without so much as a chance to explain what the hell was going on."

"You don't owe either one of them a thing, Jane," Roger said as he pulled a bowl of fruit salad out the refrigerator and placed it in front of me.

"He didn't do anything wrong, Roger," I protested. "At least not intentionally. He tried to be there for me. For both of us."

Roger sighed and pulled some plates out of the cabinet. He then flipped open the pastry box, retrieving a couple of croissants filled with a curried mock chicken salad that the bakery specialized in and that I was currently obsessed with. He made us each a plate as I waited for his response. "Maybe. I still think this is a bad idea."

"Well, it's not like it will be my first bad decision." I pointed out.

"It will be your first one in a while," he countered.

I didn't think that was particularly true either but I didn't belabor the point. "I really think he only wanted to make things better between us. We left everything on such a nasty note..."

Roger made a growling noise as he took his seat next to me. "I thought you promised Janet you weren't going to be making any more decisions based on what the men in your life wanted."

"It's not like that..."

"Yeah, I think it's exactly like that. You get so caught up in wanting to be wanted, wanting to be chosen, that you just forget to figure out what you want. You're still on the elementary school playground waiting to get picked for someone's kickball team. Again, you promised Janet...."