Courage ✔

Chapter 17

Alyssae was very confused by everything that had happened today. She wanted to sleep, but several thoughts kept her awake. The marks on her throat were still burning, but it was especially Thorin's remark that gave her a strange feeling in her stomach. He knew.

She had repeatedly wondered how he would react if he found out what the words meant and she had come to different conclusions – from tantrums to passionate kissing, but she never expected he would do nothing. He seemed to accept her love. He was not implying that he liked her too, but he neither seemed to have a problem with it.

She sighed, closed her eyes and thought of the embrace. She could still feel his hands on her shoulders and she decided, how childish it might sound, not to wash this dress anymore. The smirk that played on his lips still made her heart beat faster, just like the reddening of his cheeks when he'd admitted that he knew what she had said. She wanted to think about these beautiful moments, but she couldn't forget his terrifying face and clawing fingers around her throat. He had almost killed her.

It was more than special that he had embraced her, but that did not compensate for the fact that he had tried to take her life. She had seen in his eyes that he had repented, but how long would that last? She realized she was still afraid of him, even though she loved him dearly, and it would probably endure a while before that feeling would fade away.

Alyssae slipped into a deep sleep with vague dreams but woke up when she heard the door open. Her heart pounded frantically in her throat and a little embarrassed she saw that it was the red-haired elf again. She was relieved.

"How do you feel?"

Alyssae shrugged. "I don't know."

"You will feel a lot better when you go outside. You've slept for almost twelve hours."

She nodded a little blankly and became aware of her rumbling stomach. Her legs shook as she put her feet on the ground.

"I saw you let the dwarf go?" the elf asked with an inquisitive look.

"Yes. We've talked about it."

The woman said nothing, but her eyes told her she would have acted differently. Maybe she was right and it was absurd indeed how she had reacted, but she had no regret.

"Who are you?" Alyssae wanted to know.

"Tauriel," the elf replied as she kept the door open for her. "I was helping Thranduin to find you."

Alyssae hoped she wouldn't bring her to her fiancé, because her mind was occupied by other things. Fortunately, the elf seemed to feel her thoughts, for she first brought her to a room where some others were eating. Tauriel took some fruits and lembas bread and sat next to her at the table. Hopefully, Alyssae looked around. She would like to see the dwarves and believed the worst lay behind her now she had made things up with Fili and Thorin. Unfortunately, the dwarves were nowhere to be seen.

"What did you see?" Tauriel asked with a shimmering look in her eyes when she also had taken some food for herself. "During the journey?"

Alyssae smiled and started to tell about the events. Her voice was alive when she narrated how Kili and Bofur had freed her from the dungeons. Then she described how they fled the wargs, which had been fatal for the dear hobbit. She spoke about her injuries and those of Thorin and after a brief hesitation, she told Tauriel also about the uncertainties that they had experienced and how difficult it had been to find access to the dwarf hearts. It was a relief to tell her story to someone because she got the feeling that she had kept things to herself way too long.

"We have spent a few days in the house of Beorn, a skin-changer. There Thorin and I convalesced and I took the time to get the dwarves to know since besides Fili, Kili and Bofur I had not really succeeded. It was a great time and we felt so good that we decided to celebrate our progress. At the time we were tipsy dancing, the orcs invaded."