The Art of Breaking (Finished)

Final Chapter

Dahan-dahan naman akong lumapit muli sa bulletin board habang nakakunot-noo. Nang malapit na ako ay napansin ko naman ang nakapost na Top 20 sa bar exam. My eyes widened again as I saw my name on the list.

1. Jimenez, Miranda                  92.16
2. Hernaiz, John Henry             91.74
3. De Rossi, Paxton Isagani     91.28

I looked back at Paxton and he was already smiling at me again. Then my best friend mouthed me 'I'm happy for you'. He even looked like he was happier that I topped even though he also ranked 3rd in the bar.

I couldn't even believe it myself.

●●●

Present

Two months later.

"Kamusta?"

Napangiti naman ako sa tanong ni Dr. Demonteverde na siyang personal psychiatrist ko. Last month pa kasi ako nagsimula sa therapy ko - and it was really a progessing activity. Ni hindi ko nga aakalain na siyang ayaw kong gawin dati (ang magpacheck ng psychiatrist/psychologist) ay nagagawa ko na ngayon. The doctor who's also now my friend helped and assisted me throughout my therapy.

"Kahapon, pumunta ako sa dagat. I even liked it there dahil walang masyadong tao. Doon ko napag-isipang magpinta." I answered her truthfully. Sa therapy sessions kasi namin ay pinagagawa niya ako ng mga recreational activities tulad ng pagpipinta, pagsusulat, pagtatanim saka pagluluto. As of now, I'm enjoying all of it. Hindi ko nga alam na enjoyable pala ang ganung mga bagay kesa umupo buong araw sa opisina.

Tapos hindi lang iyon, sumasali rin ako sa iba't-ibang mga recreational organizations. Nalaman ko ring hindi lang ako ang mga ganitong pinagdadaanan sa buhay, hindi naman dahil baliw kami - no, we aren't crazy nor insane - we just have really low self-esteem, hopeless and insecurities due to our bad experiences in life. I even realized that masaya palang may mga taong nakikinig at hindi ka hinuhusgahan sa mga pinagdadaanan mo - just like the people I met in the orgs.

With that span of time, I chose not to use any cellular phones to fully medidate what I really want in my life. I quit my job as a lawyer, I sold my house, never contacted anyone and even though it broke my heart, I put my dogs for adoption. I did some sacrifices in order to fully heal myself.

And I'm doing really good at it.

When I sold my house, I transferred into much far away area, isolated from the people. Marami na rin kasi akong naipon mula sa pag-aabogasya ko kaya nasusuportahan ko pa rin ang sarili ko. Hindi lang iyon, I also learned that my deceased father had provided me a trust fund, me and my younger siblings have trust funds from him.

"I'm happy with your progress in your therapy, Miranda," Dr. Demonteverde replied and smiled at me. May kinuha naman itong maliit na puting papel sa drawer ng office table nito at inabot sa 'kin. Nasa clinic kasi niya kaming dalawa, "Get a pen. I need you to write something."

Kumuha naman ako ng ballpen sa penholder niya.

"This is another therapy session for you, but a little bit of different," She started as I was just staring at the paper, "I've noticed a good development in your mood and personality these days... but I know, there's still something bothering you... that stopping you from moving forward, that you're still taken aback."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako biglang kinabahan dahil sa sinabi niya.

"I know you already have forgiven those people who wronged you... especially your family," The doctor spoke softly to me, "But have you already apologized to those people you have wronged?"