Tricked

four - reality

Dear hope,
On friday, I knocked on your door and it was already unlocked and I got in and it was all dusty as if nobody lived there.

I called out your name but you didn't respond and then I found you in the kitchen and you were looking out the window and crying so we sat on your kitchen counter.

I asked you why you didn't throw away all the old furniture from your house, which was Samantha's but you couldn't stop crying and I wanted to give you comfort so badly but I didn't know how so I started sobbing with you because I thought maybe that would made you feel better because my life wasn't any better either.

And then after both of us sobbing and getting our shirts all watery, the only thing you said was, "Please kiss me!" and I wanted to so badly but I didn't want you to use me just to get away from your problems because god, I wanted to do the same but I couldn't because I was falling for you and you didn't know and I didn't know if it was real but I felt it.

So I said "You don't love me!" because It was true and maybe if you were falling for me like I was for you, you didn't show it and then you said one kiss wouldn't hurt and I wanted to say "Yes, it wouldn't kill anyone" but that would be a lie because If I kissed you that would mean I love you and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer to that and if you would've kissed me back, it would mean you love me but you didn't and kiss is a sign of love.

We just sat there, still on the kitchen counter looking at eachother's eyes for something, anything because I so wanted to know what it is that you felt for me but I was afraid I wouldn't like what you would say and I wanted to ask you why you were crying but I just decided to give you comfort because in that moment, that's what you needed the most.

Love,
Noel

A/N: Sorry I didnt update yesterday, i'm having those shitty days and I won't be able to update everday but I'll update like three times a week?? please forgive me im just not doing so well right now and please vote and comment, it would mean a lot to me :)