Ace of Hearts

24

       

"So, I suppose this isn't the best time to say 'Happy Birthday.'" Jade's voice pulled me out of my staring contest with the wall. None of the Mikaelson's had tried to approach me since my panic attack this morning, and only came in every few minutes to make sure I was still breathing. I suppose they were merely biding their time until now. Jade's hair has faded since I last saw her, and her natural blonde is starting to peek out at the roots.

"Not unless you have something to help me forget that fact." I mumble and return to glaring a hole in the wall.

"I figured as much." Her voice still holds her trademarks strength despite the low volume. The bed dips beside me, and a warm blanket and arms wrap around my shoulder. "You really must be hurting if you're willing to have alcohol."

"Hurting doesn't begin to explain it."

"I know." She whispers and rests her head on my slumped shoulder, and she does. Of everyone I know, she's probably the only one with a sliver of understanding for what I'm feeling. "That's why I'm here. I figured it was my turn to return the favor you did me when—everything happened to Brian."

Brian—the name rolls of her tongue like lead. He was my other best friend, and Jade's only serious boyfriend. Relationships typically have trouble working out for both of us. So when Brian asked her to the sophomore dance, we all prepared for the disaster to hit, but it didn't. The two of them were complimenting puzzle pieces. Everyone was waiting for graduation so he would most likely propose.

All it took was one stupid party to end those assumptions.

We went to the party as our typical trio. Jade danced with Brian, who didn't dare touch a single drink. He was the only person I've met to hate alcohol more than me. Of course, neither of us drank in case the other was too tired to drive home. The lectures from our parents on the dangers of drunk driving always stuck with us.

Yet, despite never having touched any, alcohol killed him anyway. It was a popular football player's stupid idea to not wait for his sober friend, and Brian was gone.

"Does it last forever? This sadness?" I question as I finally feel fresh tears track down my face. "Because I don't want to feel like this any longer."

"It takes time, before it softens at the edges." Jade's voice trembles as she squeezes me tightly. "But, yeah, I think it does."

"How do you do it—make it through the day and be so happy?"

"Small steps." She informs me with her edge back in her voice as she moves to her feet. I feel her trying not to shudder when she takes my cold hand. "Come on. Stand up, because we're getting you cleaned up."

"I don't want to." I mumble as I slowly retreat back into myself. Another excuse comes out of my mouth as I fall back into the bed.

Jade's feature twist in a debate between understanding and frustration. Her shoes squeak against the hardwood as she uses her meager bodyweight in an attempt to pull me up. "Ophelia Mitchell, I'm not gonna let you wither away like this. You once told me, if you're gonna insist on wallowing in your own sorrow and self pity, the least you can do is keep filth from joining the list." She argues, but it does nothing to motivate me to action.

There's too much going on inside my head for me to pay any attention to what's outside it. It's a crude, dangerous, and likely ridiculous plan, but I have nothing else to hold on to at the moment. I fear if I let go of this sliver of hope, I'll fade away to a place no one can bring me back from.

So I cling to this foolish notion like a rock in the ocean. It's the only chance I have to see him again without dying myself. That's obviously not an option, no matter how desperate I may be. I could never hurt my friends and family like that.