Sad Thought #4

22 2 5

by asahibom

by asahibom

Keeping a smile on your face is hard, especially when you've been hurt multiple times, right?

Yes, I may have a smile on my face most of the time, but that doesn't mean I'm happy.

Lately, everything's been going downhill.
My parents seem like they can't provide a good life for me any longer.
They don't treat me right anymore and I've been deeply hurt.

I hate it when they seem like they're fed up of me.
'I know you two are fed up of me now, when haven't you both not been fed up with me?'
I would say in my mind.

When I would ask them,
'Do you love me?'
They always avoid the question, or shrug it off.

Most of the time, they fight now, and my mother threatened to leave me with my dad.
After her words, I was left numb...
It was the last straw.

I didn't feel anymore emotions, and I just had a blank look on my face.
If she was gonna be like that, there's no point in showing or expressing anything.

When I cry, she would imitate me and taunt me.
When I would give a forced smile, she would look at me in disgust.

Sometimes I tell myself,
'Why were you even born? Your parents don't love you, they can't provide a good life for you anymore. You're just a waste of money honestly'

It would be nice...To start over somewhere else now...
I want to rum away, but then I become skeptical.
But the feeling is burning inside me.

I want to run away, just maybe out of this country.
But I can't...I'm being held back by these people I call my 'parents'.

I have a big dream, just to go out to the world. I've wanted to become an idol, but that's dreaming too big.
I'm an untalented, worthless, piece of shit that nobody loves...How surprising is that?

-Lean