ASUNDER (I) : tmr newt

67: I'm Consuming and I'm Consuming

"I kissed Gally first, because David was watching," I don't know why I tell her this. "And he kissed me."

"Dave?" She asks.

I nod, and she looks around. This is why I wanted to talk to Dawn. She knows David, and well. Leo doesn't, not like I do.

"Are you both..."

When I can't nod, I shrug. Because, like, we aren't. Maybe I'd want to though? It's sounds crazy, I know, but it's hard. David is right about everything, and he wants the best for me. He isn't some soft, lovey dovey person either. He just happens to have feelings outwardly.

Gally is hard edges and rough hands. He fights with me, and we bicker and argue. He likes me, it's quite obvious, and there is something about hating him that I love. Something about him that sucks me in deeper and deeper.

"I need to apologise to David." I'm not going to be with him, or Gally. Neither of them are good enough for me. "I don't know how."

Leo smiles at me, smile across her lips. "You're deciding to apologise?"

I roll my eyes, resisting the urge to punch both her and myself in the face. "I don't need a lecture, Mom."

"Well, I'm sure you can figure it out." She bites the inside of her cheek before adding, "just don't hit him and I'm sure he'll forgive you. Probably, I don't pretend to understand boys, and I don't want to."

She isn't looking at me, and I catch her staring off into the field. Around the bonfire sits the Med-jack boys, Newt, Minho, and Dawn. I wonder if she's into one of those boys she spends most of her days with. To be honest, I thought the Med-jacks were together, but I could be wrong.

I nod, forgetting how to thank her and walking off. She's so distracted in her gaze she doesn't call after me to add anything.

It takes a while to find David, it takes even longer to get him alone. So long, that its after lights out and the walls are long past closed. In all that time, I still haven't found a way to talk to explain myself. Nor do I think I could apologise if I wanted too.

"You wanted to talk?" I'm surprised he heard me. He opens his eyes, spinning around in his hammock to look closer at me. His blue eyes pierce me, and I can't help but look away.

His eyes are much sharper than Gally's. Gally's look both green and blue at the same time, and it makes me feel weird that I noticed.

Dave gets out of his hammock, walking away with me. He moves, until we are pressed into the very corner of the Glade. He takes a breath to think and feel, and I am surprised it takes him so long to stare at me.

"You know, I thought about what I'd say if you came to talk to me," he looks away from me, but not in the distracted or embarrassed sense. He is furious, and I guess I owe him that. "I didn't really put that much thought into it, since I figured you'd want nothing to do with me, but believe me when I say I actually thought about it."

I wait for him to continue, since I don't really know what to say. I didn't think I'd come talk to him either, especially not to apologise.

"Like, I get if you aren't in to me," he continues. "Shuck, I didn't think you would be, I don't know what I was thinking. I don't get you Michelle."

"I was pissed off..." I can't end that sentence, because that's the end.

"You don't think before you act," he begins. "You're lucky Gally has feelings for you, or you'd be shucking banished right now."