The symptom

Where it wanders.

The week crawled by at an excruciatingly long pace, but Saturday finally made itself known. Mallory called my cell, wanting to meet me at the park. So I spent the day sitting on a bench with her, talking and watching the wild ponies gallop by, occasionally snapping pictures of them.

Mallory and I were in the middle of a discussion on which TV shows were the best and which should be banned from America when I looked at my phone and almost had a heart attack.

"It's already 5:30!" I exclaimed, almost tripping over myself to stand up.

"So? What's wrong with 5:30?"

"I have to be at my marine biology class at 6! I'm sorry Mallory, I really have to go." I slung my Nikon around my neck and sent a quick text to my Mom.

"Cinderella, much? Why do you take a class on Saturdays? Isn't the whole point of Saturday to not take classes?"

"I'm really sorry. I'll catch up with you later." I took off towards my house. I'd walked here, so I was forced to run back.

I arrived at my house fifteen minutes later, panting and sweating. I took a quick shower and grabbed a banana, driving to the Aquarium at top speed. I got there right on time (which was late for me, since I liked to be early) and found my seat in the back. I sat down and took a few strong breaths.

Adam was here. He glanced at me before turning back to the front. Mr. Clarke began his lesson.

"Today I want to discuss with you why we want to be marine biologists. If you would, please stand up - in an orderly fashion - and find some people to tell them why you are so interested in marine biology."

I rolled my eyes with the rest of the class at the childish way of learning but inside I was actually excited. I'd have an excuse to talk to Adam.

A girl with blondish red hair approached me and said, "I want to be a marine biologist because I like swimming a lot and I kind of want to know what I'm swimming in." She smiled at me with braces. A freshman, apparently.

I nodded and said, "Yeah me too," but my mind was already planning out what to say to Adam. I forced my feet towards him and slowly inched closer. Each footstep caused my heart to pound faster until I was standing right behind him and it was trying to hack its way out of my ribs.

I cleared my throat and Adam spun on his heels to face me.

Ohmygosh, his eyes. Brown with streaks of green that lit up his face like a nightlight. Thick lashes decorated them, which crinkled at the corners.

I couldn't breathe. This guy freaking just stole my breath away.

Adam's smile was warm and welcoming. "I'm interested in marine biology because the ocean's a mystery and I want to crack it. Like Sherlock Holmes. I want to see something others can't yet."

It was like he plucked the words from my lips and placed them on his own. And ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh. An Australian accent.

"S-same," I sputtered, and then winced.

Adam grinned at me one last time before turning to the next person, leaving me to gather my wits alone.

Ohmygosh.

***

I hadn't felt this way since Josh Keating. Like I said earlier, he was my first boyfriend. I'd liked him for what seemed like forever, but never thought I had the slightest chance. When he asked me out on Christmas, I almost passed out.

Josh gave me butterflies that didn't stay put in my stomach. They made my arms and legs and fingers tingle, too. I got goose bumps around him and my lungs always seemed to shrink to the size of a pebble. My skin would heat up then turn cold from one minute to the next. He made me feel safe and at peace. He made me feel wanted.

But I was so naïve about him. My fantasy only lasted three months and then he was gone, along with my dad and my reason to live.

Seems dramatic, I know. I never thought I'd fall so hard and so fast for someone, and I never ever expected it to plummet so early.

But I guess life hurts sometimes. And we just have to move on and find some other beauty to set our eyes on.

I swore to myself I'd never love a guy again. Josh and Dad only proved to me that men are monsters who leave you when you need them the most.