I Punish Myself With My Own Blood

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Life has proved to me my own sins.
I see that I'm a failure,
A disappointment
A fuck-up of a human.

You are a child
No thoughts of your own.
Just a garble of endless word-salad fills your head.

You are a woman.
Pick it up.
Suck it up.
Learn fast or be thrown to the dogs.

The thoughts that fill my head,
They tell me everything I've managed
to ruin with my life.
The sins of my own life...

The sin.
It's just there.
You are ruining your family.

Don't you see?

Your father gets drunk almost every night.
Numbing out the pain you cause.
Your mother is so heart sore.
Because of this pain you caused.

The sin.
It's just there.
You are ruining your own life.

Don't you see?

You never do what you're supposed to.
You are just headed for a black hole...
An endless void of disappointment.
How is that any different then any other day?

Don't you see?

Don't you feel it?

The sins you have inflicted
upon everything....
in your life.

They must be punished.
I will never get away with this.
I barely deserve life.
I deserve pain more.

I must punish myself with my own blood...
To hold out against the vendetta of my life itself.

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