Thirty six

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I sighed tiredly as I moved myself around the house, people where everywhere I looked, loud music playing so much that I couldn't even eat my thoughts. I wiggled my way through the clouds, trying to find someone. As I walked into the garden I clashed into something hard, not something, someone. I pulled back for a minute and blinked a few times, my tipsy state trying to realise what was going on.

"Jupiter." Matty said and threw his arms around me, stumbling a bit. He smelled of weed and wine. The bottle of beer in his hand smashed to the ground and I watched as people around stared at him before moving back to there conversations.

"Matty baby, what are you doing?" I asked and hugged him closely before pulling away. I seemed to be a bit more sober now, not that I was really drunk. He just stared down st me for a moment before placing a hand on my cheek, a tear in his eye fell down his cheek and I looked at him confused. He shook his head and pulled away from me , standing up straight. He swayed a little and I went to grab his arm again but he just backed away, almost tripping up. He was mumbling under his breathe and shaking his head.

"You shouldn't be with me." He said and I stared at him shocked, a wave of sadness running over me. "You should be happy." He spoke and I went to grab his arm bur he shook his head walking back, falling over. I gasped and tried to help him up but he just kept shaking his head. I watched as someone helped him up, the tears in my eyes now cascading down my face as he looked over me. "You should be happy." He said.

"I'm happy with you Matty." I said with a strained voice. He shook his head again.

"No you're not. I make you sad, I don't wanna make you sad. It's okay." He said and placed a hand on my shoulder, I just stared at him. Tears in his eyes. He leaned down and placed a long lingering kiss on my forehead. "I love you." He spoke, before smiling and staggering into the party. My body shook, I hugged myself tightly. I was confused. My mouth was slightly agape and I was completely lost. Had Matty just broken up with me? After all that? The tears in my eyes ran down my face as I walked out into the streets of London. If was cold, I didn't have a jacket, I was alone and I was quite ready to get murdered. But soon enough I found myself walking to a familiar house, walking up to the front door, knocking on it and walking in. The house smelled on lavender and cigarettes.

"Hello!" The voice yelled and I just coughed and tried to speak properly.

"It's Jupiter." I spoke my voice was dull, nothing really came out. I watched as Alex peaked his head around the corner, his eyes looking over me before grabbing my hand and pulling me further into the house. Before I knew it, I was on his sofa and he was handing me a warm cup of tea.

"What happened?" He asked. I must have woken him, he was wearing some baggy joggers and was shirtless, his hair was messy and his eyes looked tired. I sipped the tea and stared at the floor for a few minutes, he watched as I did this, not pushing any further into the question.

" I was at a party, my friends 24th and I had went with George, Matty said he was coming later on so I asked him to text me. I had been looking for George when I bumped into Matty. He was high and drunk, he hugged me for a few minutes before pulling away, he kept shaking his head and mumbling this, I tried to grab for him but he just shook his head. He said we shouldn't be together but I don't get it, he was mad and upset that I didn't love him, and now I do love him. He doesn't love me." I looked up at Alex, my eyes filled with tears. He sighed and moved a little so he was next to me. He leaned forward and placed the tea on the ground, pulling me back with him into the large couch. We sat for the next few hours, talking about music, movies and everything else but Matty.

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