Makai ouji one shots

I•Am•Free

How long did I serve God and especially Michael?

I can't remember when the warmth of a family turned into a cold wind, blowing through an empty home...

Whenever a demon called us puppets I got angry at them. Not because they were wrong, it was because I knew they were right and it made me angry to face the truth, to face the fact that our enemies are right.

I envied them.
The humans, all of them.

Gods beloved humans who could do whatever they want.
Maybe that's why I became an angel of punishment.
Because I wanted them to be like us, afraid of doing something wrong and being punished if they made faults.
But I already knew that if they were like us, they wouldn't be humans.
It was impossible for me to be like them and impossible that they would be like us.

They sinned because it made them pleasure.

After hearing that I envied them even more.
Doing what pleases them, because it made fun. And how many of them never saw punishment for their sins? How many never felt sorry for what they did?

This men showed me: Humans are free.
And how much I wanted to be like them, how much I loved them.

But one of those men was also the reason why I lost one of my wings. I loved the humans more then my own race and got punished for this by a past friend.
Someone who I cared about and with whom I fought side by side did this to me.
And why? Because it was the right thing.
Because I sinned.

And now I did it again, as if I would be like one of those I had to punish so often; never once learning.

Why do I have to fall for this every time?
Why can't I just be like all the other angels?
Because I don't want to be a puppet?
Because I want to be free?
And there, once more I want to be like one of those demons around this men.
Being around you without worrying about my duties and looking into those deep eyes full of wisdom and sorrow and feeling that it is alright to be the way I am, that we both suffer and yet being not alone could would it better.

The same eyes are looking at me now, but it fells different. His eyes are full of wisdom, but still he has so much to learn, when I met you there was sorrow inside you but not the sorrow He had and I did everything to keep it like this. So you wouldn't be lonely, but wasn't I the lonely one? It seemed like I forgot while being with you.

I searched forgiveness inside him, I searched for a reason for my existence.
And here I stand, giving up everything for him, knowing that I would lost my past home for this.
But also knowing that my true home would wait for me.

Looking up into the sky, my past with all I held dear back then doesn't seem so important anymore. And in the end I would do something good with this, right?
I helped my past friend to suffer and die in such a painful-to-look-at way he wanted. I helped providing a war, helped providing the apocalypse.

How bad can it be to become a fallen angel if you did it for the person you most care about? And if you did what you wanted in the end?
And how bad can it be to lose your former live for a new one with freedom? At least, the pain of loosing my wings isn't that deep anymore.

And just like those wings, all my burdens will fade away...

-Uriel