Offcam | SuRene (ONHOLD)

prologue.

"You see the stars?" He smiled again but there was a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Yes," she answered as she saw him pulling a small box from his pocket.

"You said they shine brightly."

"Yes.", that was the only word she can say as he rose and sat. He pulled her to sit up and face him.

"I want to be one of them."

"We both want to, that's our dream. That's why we train." she said, now confused with his clue.

"And I've been training for almost six years now, Hyunja." She eased up at the endearment he used but still remained confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Thank you for being my inspiration these for the past three years. When you joined the training, everything was less stressful. I...", he opened the box, revealing a silver necklace with intricate details and the word 'Promise' at the middle, "want to show my gratitude."

She gasped and hugged him. "Thank you, Myeon. It's beautiful.. I..."

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one thanking you here." He said and chuckled. Then, he turned her around to lace the accessory around her neck. She heard him sigh again.

Silence passed. It wasn't a comfortable one like before so she hesitantly faced him and said, "I don't understand the clue."

"Thank you." He just said again.

"For what?"

Another silence.

"Myeon, something is bothering you. Tell me."

"Ah, it's not bothering me. I'm just overwhelmed."

"By what?" She was too inquisitive at the moment. But she didn't care. Something felt off about him; about the necklace; about this night after she persuaded him to tell his wish.

Was his wish not what she was expecting?

He noticed her uneasiness and touched her necklace. "This is a Promise necklace. So I want you to make a promise."

"Okay..", she said, still unsure of where his words are going to.

"Promise me that you won't lose faith in me. I'll try my best, I'll find a way... I'll---"

"Wait. I don't understand. Will we not see each other? Where are you going?"

"Just promise." He breathed out "It won't be easy for the both of us after tonight. I told you to meet me here, because I wanted to spend time with you before we... we part ways." He said, looking down.

"What?" She felt warm tears form in her eyes. " I- I don't get it, Myeon."

"Promise me. Please. Don't... don't hate me after this." He was holding her hand now.

"Thank you for being my inspiration. " He repeated his words again and pulled her into a tight embrace, his face nuzzling into her hair. "I want to send you a proper goodbye before I...."

"--- before you debut." She finished his sentence.

He sucked in a breath, "I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry." He said with sincerity as he felt her tears falling on his shoulder and hugged her tighter.

"So that means....", she started, trying not to choke on her tears, "we're over, right?"

"I don't want this to be over." He was stopping his own tears from falling but he was not able to stop his voice from breaking.

The atmosphere was no longer light and they could feel the cold breeze of the wind.

"But this has to be," she said and slid off his arms, though her feelings were telling her to not let go just yet.

It was an unspoken rule that the trainees should not be in a relationship. Most of them do get into these so-called commitments but made sure that anyone from the company doesn't know. Otherwise, their dreams of being idols would be left to rot.

However, debuting was another story. One is always in front of the spotlight. The public's sharp eyes would be all on you, criticizing every move. It is impossible to hide things for long. Sooner or later, they'd be discovered.... and only bad things lie ahead to those who pursue to continue something prohibited.

In a crossroad, you can only choose one path. You'll follow one and you'd give up the other. In this case, they have to give up their love inorder to follow their dream.

The girl made up her mind. It was too much to bear but she figured that they'd both move on. Plus, she doesn't want her boyfriend to choose her and regret it afterwards. It would give her guilt that will last for a lifetime.

As she stood up to leave, the boy stopped her on her tracks pressed their foreheads together.

"I'm proud of you." she said trying to shove him away because she doesn't want him to see her vulnerable state. She was crying badly.

He doesn't budge, though. Instead, he clasped their hands together and said, "Don't end it like this."

"No, Myeon. Stop risking your career for me."

"Let the public be." He wasn't crying like she was, but his voice.. his voice was that of a broken man.

"Stop."

"I promise, we'll get this through together without separating. We'll try. I'll –"

"Stop it! I don't want you to get in a scandal just right after you debuted. It'd end your career. You will despise me and I will hate myself if that happens, too. We can't continue this." She doesn't want to leave him. Heck, she could only care less about him officially being an idol. But she was trying to see the bigger picture. This decision would break the both of them, but it was for the better.

"Then.." he started, "let me just make my own promise."

She nodded, realizing that she doesn't have any other choice but to let him.

"I promise continue to support you in your training from afar. I'll always be there ready to be your number one fan once you debut," he tried lift the mood up.

"Will you keep in touch, at the very least?"

"Of course. I'll make time for you, I promise."

"Really?"

"Really. I won't let you down. Trust me."

And she believed him.

But after that night, she never saw him again. She didn't receive any calls, or letters, or anything to remind her that he was still there.

She tried to understand his situation. Maybe he's preparing hard; his debut stage was nearing.

But she has always heard news about him from his other friends. How could he contact them but not her?

As time passed, his presence slowly faded.

One day, she saw him in a morning broadcast on television smiling brightly, introducing his new name to the world, and she scoffed. How could he look so happy inspite of everything? His promise to her was left unkept and while he was enjoying and preparing for the life of a star, she was crying herself to sleep every night, waiting for him to call or send a message.

He promised.

Things are different now. She thought and reached for the remote to close the television during her ex's interview. All men do is lie.

——
e p i g r a p h

' your heart was as fragile
as the mirror i held in my hands
yet in the end
the mirror was perfectly intact
and your heart was in pieces.'
——

offcam.
a surene fanfiction.