Multi Fandom imagines

Bucky Barnes- Imperfections

First imagine is one I thought of a few hours ago that I HAD to get done. It gives me feels.

Just to be clear, this is NOT 1940's Bucky. This is after The Winter Soldier.

Warning: this deals with self criticism, and negative thoughts about your body, so if you're not comfortable with that, then skip this, and read the authors note at the end.

*This book is currently undergoing an editing process*

You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror.

Ugly.

This was something you found you had been doing a lot recently- staring at yourself and criticizing every flaw you could find.

It always ended up with you crying in the corner of your bathroom, silently so you wouldn't alarm your boyfriend, Bucky, who lived with you.

Fat.

You weren't fat, but you didn't like the fact that you always had to wear loose clothing so you didn't have to worry about other people seeing how you didn't fit into tighter shirts. You didn't like tight pants, either. When you went to parties, people didn't understand why you would always wear baggy clothing, making you feel worse.

Shoulders too big.

You felt that your shoulders were too big, and you didn't like showing them off.

Stomach isn't flat.

You were extremely insecure about your stomach, always sucking it in, and then standing up straight to make it seem like you weren't doing anything unnatural.

Face is round and squishy.

You've always felt that your face was too squishy in an unflattering way, and when you laughed you could tell. Constant Double chin. Not in a funny way, either.

You're not even pretty, I don't know why he chose you.

You're not good enough. No one actually likes you.

They're all going to leave you for something better. Bucky will be the first to go.

You sunk to the ground, quietly, but still making a small thump.

You cried and cried, just thinking about everything wrong with you.

Just as you let out a loud sob, your boyfriend walked in. He looked happy, but when he saw you... everything else was forgotten. He was scooping you up in his arms, his metal arm freezing cold.

He laid you down on the bed, being careful and extra gentle.

"(Y/N), what's wrong?" He asked. He seemed concerned.

"Nothing. I'm f-fine." You replied, still shaking because of the cold arm.

He won't care.

"(Y/N), please, you're crying. Let me help you," he pleaded with you.

You considered it. Might as well just get it out now.

He'll judge you for it. He already is.

You looked up at him and let out a heavy, sad sigh.

You could do this.

"Lately I've been feeling horribly about myself- always criticizing the way I look, feeling like I wasn't good enough, terrified that everyone I love is going to leave me for something better... It won't go away." You shrugged weakly, letting some more tears escape.

The silence after that was nearly unbearable for you.

You risked a glance at him, only to see him staring at you in wonder, with lots of sadness in his eyes.

"I don't know how it's possible for someone as amazing as you to feel that way. I would never leave you. I love you." He made eye contact with you again, after scanning your face and body.

"Tell me every place you've ever felt insecure about. I want to make it better." He sounded like he was up to something. You complied anyway.

You pointed to each of your body parts one by one, but all he did was nod, as if he understood.

When you were done pointing, he laid on top of you, gently, and pulled off your shirt.

Your first instinct was to hide away, turn your back to him, but he caught your hands as you were covering your stomach.

"No," he shook his head, "you're beautiful, don't hide from me."

He started leaning towards you, kissing you gently as if you would break. He wasn't far off.

From your lips, he moved down to your shoulders, planting one kiss on each.

He moved back up to your face, peppering it with a bunch of smaller ones, making you crack the tiniest of smiles when he pressed his lips against your nose.

Next he moved down to your stomach. He left multiple kisses along your sides, around the middle and then back around again. You giggled. It didn't help that you were the slightest bit ticklish.

He stopped for a second to smile up at you when he heard you, as if you were the only thing that mattered.

He kissed everywhere else you've ever felt insecure about.

He left a few kisses on your neck, your arms and hands and then one last one on your forehead.

When he was finished, he let you put your shirt back on, and then rested his head on your stomach.

"(Y/N), I don't want you to ever feel like this again. I'm not going to say you're perfect, because nobody is, but I am going to say that you are my whole world, and I will go to the ends of the earth for you," he started, "and I promise that I will never leave you for anyone or anything that you think is 'better' than you."

You looked down at him. "I've tried for so long to stop feeling bad about myself, but nothing works. It's not as easy to love yourself as everyone makes it out to be."

"Then let me help you. I swear, (Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I will not rest until you love everything about yourself. Even if it takes years, I will be right by your side, ready to help you up. I promise you that. Can you promise me that you will let me help you?"

You nodded, but realized he couldn't see you from where his face was buried into your side.

"I promise," you stated but decided to add "thank you. I love you, Bucky. So much."

"I love you more." He looked up at you and smiled, knowing that you felt at least a little bit better because of him.

And from then on out, you helped each other when either of you were feeling insecure. And though you weren't there yet, you knew that one day (with a little bit of help) you would get to a place where you could both say that you felt good about yourself.

Yo. I'm sorry, that was weird. So, I know that this doesn't follow along with any of the movies or anything, but I really wanted to write this. I know I could've used a different character for this but when I first thought it up, I was thinking of Bucky. It didn't feel the same using a different character.

It's so important to me that I'm able to do this, because if I can't be open about this to people, how am I supposed to "get better"?

And honestly, when people tell you to love yourself, they make it seem like it's the easiest thing ever. It's really not. 

I guess what I'm saying is: if you don't feel good about yourself, tell someone so they can help you get to a good place. I told my best friend (beannatthedisco ) about my insecurities, and now I'm finally starting to get to a better place. I've accepted that I'm young, so there's still lots of time for my body to change and time to work on myself.

Mini rant over. If you read that, thank you. I appreciate it a lot.

Have a nice day 😊