Chapter Seven

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Harry had managed to get out of the apartment rather easy, due to the fact that to Harry’s disgust; Louis had gone out with Eleanor.

He made it to the car with his journal in hand, to find Zayn already waiting for him.

“Harry how nice of you to finally arrive,” Zayn stated sarcastically.

“Calm the fuck down Zayn I am only two minutes late.”

“Woah, I was only joking Harry…why are you in such a bad mood?” Zayn asked inquisitively.

“Nothing, sorry for snapping at you, just had a hard time sleeping last night.”

Zayn nodded in recognition.

He felt bad for lying to Zayn, but he could never tell him that he was upset that he was jealous of his best mate’s girlfriend. Or that he loathed how much time Louis had been spending with her; time they could be spending together.

Harry did notice how easy lying had become. They just slipped off his tongue; he barely even had to put thoughts behind his words anymore.

Harry checked in and a short while after he was called back to begin his second session with Dr. Avery.

He allowed her permission to look at his diary entries. She already knew his deepest secret, he had nothing to hide.

She read his entries and he studied her facial features. He appreciated how she read them carefully, without an ounce of judgment present in her features.

“Harry, I am proud of you for realizing what triggers your self harm. Also for admitting that you had started to cut; that is a big step. But even more so that you realized what you were doing wasn’t healthy and that you stopped yourself and instead wrote about it. You are showing so much improvement so fast.”

Harry smiled, he was extremely happy to hear this.

Maybe things could be normal again? Maybe he could move on from his feelings and finally remove himself from the path of destruction he had been on for so long.

Harry got back to the apartment and any positive thoughts he had left his mind in an instant.

Louis was with Eleanor. They were making out on the couch; his hands were resting on her waist while she was propped over him; hands snaked around his neck.

Harry was going to be sick.

Couldn’t Louis at least have the decency to take her to his bedroom? Why did he have to display their love right in the living room?

Harry ran straight to his bedroom and closed the door with force. He assumed Louis and Eleanor would now be aware that he was home. Harry was slowly slipping back again, he so badly wanted to release his pain on his own vulnerable skin.

So that is what he did.

He knew Dr. Avery would be disappointed. He knew Zayn would be furious. Harry was even disappointed in himself. But in that moment, none of it mattered, all that mattered was that the one he loved would never love him back.

Like Zayn had told them before, they were going out that night. They drove for about 20 minutes until the reached a busy nightclub.

They cut to the line and made their way inside (one of the perks of being famous).

Louis brought Eleanor with them, and Harry didn’t even try to hide his distaste. Louis tried to talk to him multiple times but Harry barely even acknowledged him. He could tell the rest of the group sensed the tension, but Harry didn’t care. All he could think about was forgetting all of his problems, at least for the night.

Upon entering Liam and his girlfriend Danielle went off on their own to have personal time, while Louis went off with Eleanor. Zayn was chatting up random girls, while Harry and Niall made their way straight to the bar.

Harry began taking shot after shot.

He kept motioning for more drinks to come to the point where soon Niall offered his protests.

“Harry, slow down man, the night is still young. You don’t have to do it all at one time.”

“Calm down Niall, and have another drink.”

Harry then looked around only to see Louis and Eleanor sitting close and whispering at a table alone.

Jealousy flooded Harry’s body.

He got up and walked over to a blonde girl getting a drink at the far end of the bar.

They began talking, then flirting back and forth, and before Harry even knew it they were kissing, it was forceful and sloppy.

He mind kept imagining Louis, and what it would be like to kiss Louis.

Harry cursed himself for having these thoughts, and kissed her harder in response.

They then paused and glanced at each other. She had a look of longing and lust in her eyes.

Harry then took her by the arm and stumbled out of the club with the petite blonde by his side. 

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