I'm a complete mess

Chapter 2: Its time to go back

   I haven't been going to school lately since my mother's death. Everytime when  I saw a picture of my mother I had these respiratory attacks. Where I couldn't breathe and I had to hold my breath until I calmed down and breathed normal again. It's been four months without seeing my best friends Kate, Ashley and Janice I felt so horrible leaving them behind like an old memory but it was time for me to come back. I had to face the realities of school and face the enemies and the teachers once again. I didn't want to go back to school again I seriously didn't want any attention drawn to me because of what happened. As the weekend slipped away really quickly Monday came by really fast.

         Taking a shower really quickly and dressing myself wearing a black long sleeved shirt with blue denim skinny jeans and slipping myself into my white coverse. As soon as I finished dressing myself I went downstairs I took an apple and tried to get out of the house quietly so I wouldn't wake up my drunk dad as he layed there on the couch with beer bottles everywhere.

      I stepped out of the house quickly and walked myself to school avoiding and ignoring the pain from my bandaged side. Each step I took was another step closer from the torment that I would live for the rest of my life and as I entered the school doors everyones eyes were on me, every conversation was held as I walked in the alleyway. All I did was put my head down and ignored their stares and walked to my locker and grabbed my books for first period. As I closed my locker I walked quickly to my first period class ignoring the eyes that were staring at the back of my head. When first period started everyone kept whispering at the sight of me returning to school.

Isn't her mom dead?

Everyone says that her mom was killed by a drive by I wonder if thats true?

I wonder if that loser killed her mother? They say that she was adopted.

Wow I can't believe that happened to her I feel so bad for her.

   All comments and Whispering stopped as the teacher entered the classroom and while she stopped and looked around in the classroom her eyes stopped automatically on me. She was surprised because her eyes widened as she saw me.

    School went on really slowly by the time it was lunch and as I went to sit down on a lunch table my best friends Kate, Janice and Ashley all ran toward me and hugged me tightly. They knew perfectly that I didn't want to talk about it because I would break down in tears all they did was rub my back gently and hug me for a long period of time. The day went on slower than I thought but by the time school ended I walked to the abandoned dance studio that was separated from from the school.  The dance studio was another small building behind the school it was nice and calm and very quiet.

     

    Minutes turned to hours and hours turned to days as those days turned in to weeks and those weeks turned in to months and the months turned into years.

     2 years later........

Its been two years and now I am 17 years old not so exciting. My father now finds new ways to torture me and blame me from my mothers death. He whips and punches me and I have to wear long things that would cover my bruised body.   

    Every morning I woke up on the floor in a puddle of my own blood. Every God damn morning I would shower my body to get rid of the blood and cover my face in foundation amd concealer so no one would know the abusive ways of my father.  My life changed alot my friends moved away from me and I was alone in this hell hole. Ahley and Janice had to move because of the job given to their parents but I atleast I had Kate and she cared for me and took care of me. Kate found out my dad was being abusive with me after she found my unconscious body laying on my bedroom floor when she went over my house. Kate was angry by what my father would do to me but I did my best and I convinced her not to call the police on my father she didn't understand why I wouldn't send my father to jail but I knew she did somehow.

          That day I discovered the dance studio I kept on practicing my dance choreography until I became great at it. Kate caught me dancing and she made quite an outburst telling me how good I was and blah blah blah.....

     Today, I woke up being surprised I wasn't in that much pain from the beating my father gave me last night. As I stood up I walked to the shower letting the warm water hit my sore and bruised skin and as I saw my own reflection in the mirror it gave me some disgust over myself. Over the years I learned how to disguise my bruises very well and I learned how to keep away from others and not cause too much attention.  I walked into my closet and put on a tank top that flowed all the way down to my waist and I pulled an over sized jacket over me to cover up any bruises seen and I wore loose pants that were a bit baggy for my petite size and some sneakers.  I pinned my hair up into a messy bun and walked out my room with my backpack over my shoulder. I walked carefully down the stairs so I wouldn't wake up my father that was covered up in beer bottles. As I walked toward the kitchen I grabbed an apple and a slice of toast I couldn't prepare myself an actual breakfast because then my dad would wake up and beat me up and blame me from waking him up from his so called 'beauty sleep'. As I grabbed the apple and bit into the slice of toast I walked out of the house and walked myself to school like my eveyday routine.