I'm a complete mess

Chapter 1: How it all started

I guess I could say I was happy back then when I thought everything was rainbows and happy endings but it wasn't when everything started and turned into chaos.

My mother died by a drive by. We were in the park just the two of us. She took me to the park so we were able to talk about girl stuff like the usual. We talked about boys and school. It was a beautiful memory to remember. I then looked into my mothers face and saw how happy she was until I heard tires screeching against the floor my mothers smile decayed as soon as she processed everything that was happening.

The black SUV made a sharp turn and the doors flew wide open and masked men pulled out guns. At the time I was in front of my mother and I didn't know what to do my mother pushed me back of her as she stood in front of me being protective. As soon as she stepped in front of me guns went off. I heard so many gun shots and then the masked men closed the doors and took off just like that. Everything happened so quick as if it were a snap of a finger.

I was just 15 years old I didn't know what life was planned for me I didn't know what to expect or what to do I was alone and afraid. I saw my mother go onto her knees and I heard her struggle for air as she clutched to her stomach. As I stepped in front to see what was wrong I was horrified of what I saw. My mother was shot right in front of me and I didn't do anything to help her. She was shot five times. There was a gun shot wound that embraced my mothers stomach, another one on her shoulder, then there was a wound just above her knee. As I looked at the last two gun shots I was more scared for her then me. The fourth gun shot wound was just above her chest near her heart I raised my hands and applied pressure to the wound so it would stop gushing out blood I knew there at that moment that I had to do something to save my mother I wasn't going to let her die because it was my fault. Tears poured down from my eyes onto my cheeks I couldn't stop crying I reached inside my mothers coat and pulled out her cellphone and dialed 9-1-1 I waited until they picked up and they spoke on the third ring.

" This is 911 what is your emergency" I kept on sobbing and tried to gather my words without stuttering but I failed miserably.

" My m m mum has b-b-been shot pu-please h-help m-m-me s-she is dying" I said between sobs.

"Okay please calm down and tell me what happened and where you are located at this moment" the woman said as I heard typibg in the background.

" A b-black SUV c-came by and started shooting my mother put me behind her and she got shot five times she is losing alot of blood i dont think she is holding on for to long p-please help me, I-I am in Rosevelt park" I said as I cleared my throat and tried to talk clearly while searching for air.

" Ok honey the police is already on their way plwase try to stay calm and try to remember everything that happened okay?" she asked as the tears slid down my cheeks.

" Okay" was all I said before I hung up the phone. I threw the bloody phone next to me and held onto my mother's hand as I out her head on my lap. Tears slid down my cheeks and onto my mothers neck.

Looking at the last fifth gun shot wound disgusted me but I oushed that thought out of my head the gun shot landed on my mothers throat I could hear th e way she was holding onto her life as she clutched for breath.

" Mom p- please stay with me don't close your eyes please stay with me. You have to be strong mommy you have to we still nees to do more things together please mommy please stay with me" I cried as I saw my tears drip down from my mothers eyes.

" Baby girl, theres alot of things I needed to tell you I am sorry for letting you live on this lie. I am very sorry baby girl but but I have to go please take care of yourself" she said as the last tear fell from her eyes and she took her last breath and as she took her last breath the police ran toward me and the paramedics pulled me away from my mother I kicked and screamed so I can stay with my mother but the paramedics looked at my mom amd checked for a heart beat but all they did was shake their head into a no and pull a blue sheet above my mothers lifeless body.

The ambulance cleaned me up. They washed my bloodied body and the police came to ask some questions. It was too much for me to take in but somehow I managed to answer all of the questions with complete honesty.

I still thought and thought over what my mother had told me and I didn't know what she meant. I cried my eyes out knowing that I did nothing to save my mother and I knew who to blame.......

myself.

Two weeks later........

After the whole freak accident I wouldn't stop crying. I kept breaking down and after my mothers funeral. We were very wealthy so alot of important people came to attend the service but my dad wouldn't talk to me he would just muttering things under his breath and shattered glass onto the floor. I knew he was angry with me, I knew he never loved me as a daughter, and I knew he blamed me for the death of my mother. All he did was approach me amd grab tightly onto my wrists.

"This is all your fault yoh stupid bitch you let this happened to your mother!" he screamed into my face and he threw me on the floor where the glass was shattered and he would storm off into his room to do God knows what. I got up quickly but sharp pain was seizing me back down I saw thay the glass went through my skin. My arms and my side was cut by the thin sharp glass, quickly getting up I went to my bedroom bathroom and got a pair of tweezers and I took out every glass shard out of my skin causing me indescribable pain.

While I was bandaging myself from the cuts I layed down on my bed and I cried myself to bed. I woke up from a horrible nightmare thinking that my mothers death was just a dream but then I saw my bandages on my arm and noticed everything that happened was actually happening and is just the horrible reality.