Navigating this mess

Part 4

Three heart beat. She hit the floor. 

When she awoke, she was in the hospital with a concussion. Hanabi by her side and Sasuke on the phone next to the door. 

That had nothing on what she was looking at right now and a small bubble of anger rose in her.  He was sleeping on the couch instead of sleeping next to his future wife? Was she really that repulsive that he would rather sleep on the uncomfortable couch instead of next to him?

She stomped her way over to him, completely prepared to rip the covers off of him. Once she had crossed the length of the living room, she balled her fists in the cover and yanked. His body fell to the floor making a loud thud and forcing Sasuke awake. 

"What the fuck?" a confused Sasuke murmured. In front of him stood Hinata in a pink nightgown and hair in a ponytail. Her face distorted in anger and her eyes held tears. 

"What the fuck? What the FUCK?!" Hinata's voice pierced his ears. This was the first time since he had known her that she openly cussed. "Sasuke Uchiha! How dare you! Am I really that repulsive that you would rather sleep ON THE FUCKING COUCH?!" 

Sasuke sat stunned on the floor. What was going on? He watched as her small body shook in what he could only assume was anger. 

"What the fuck, right? I mean I'm only supposed to be the woman you marry right?" Hinata couldn't think straight. Anger flooded her every cell as she stared down at the man on the floor. She waited only seconds before she started again.

"We've been together for six fucking months Sasuke! Have you been sleeping on the couch that ENTIRE FUCKING TIME?" Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she shouldn't be this mad. That she really didn't have grounds to be mad on but that didn't stop her from wanting to throw everything. 

Words failed Sasuke as he stared up at Hinata. He couldn't stop his mouth from hanging open. The entire time he had known Hinata, she had never once yelled. Squeaks maybe but only when something surprised her. And he had never known her to be angry. Disappointed yes but never angry. 

Hinata felt tears start to fall down her face and became angrier. How DARE he have the ability to make her cry. Who was he to her!? (Besides her future husband of course.) Hinata turned and stormed back to their room. (Or more like HER room since he'd rather sleep on the couch.) 

Sasuke watched as she turned and for some reason his chest hurt. He wanted to reach out to her but his pride stopped him. He listened as stuff was thrown around in their room. The room that they were supposed to share but he could never bring himself to sleep in because of nightmares. (Fucking nightmares.)

Hinata slammed her clothes in the suitcase. She had every intention of leaving. Screw the contract. Why was she so angry again? She didn't know. Maybe lack of sleep? Maybe? Maybe? Maybe? 

Her head hurt. Hinata felt her body slide to the floor as the tears flooded her eyes. She couldn't see as she grabbed her head. She couldn't think clearly. Her body hurt and sobs racked her body. Why was she so angry again? 

Sasuke heard the sobs from the living room. He didn't understand what was going on? (Did she know?) He willed his body to move towards the room, yet he didn't go directly to her. No, he stayed in the doorway and gazed down at her. 

Her suitcase was in front of her, clothes half hanging out. Her knees were pulled up to her chest. Her back pressed firmly against the wall. Her hands tangled in her hair, tears streaming down her face. 

Sasuke felt himself move without his consent. Before he knew it, he was sitting in front of her, his hands on her wrists pulling them from her head. She fought him shaking her head and called him a bastard. 

For a brief moment, his mother flashed through his mind. 

Sasuke was ten when he found his mother crying in her room. The palms of her hands had been firmly pressed into her eyes as sobbs racked through her small frame. Her black hair was cascading around her as her shoulders shook.  "Bastard!" she had yelled.

The word shook Sasuke. He had never heard his mother cuss before. 

Who she was calling a bastard, Sasuke would never learn. 

Sasuke shook his head. The thoughts of his mother bringing him to a bad place. A place he couldn't be if he wanted to fix this mess. 

"Hinata," his voice came out in a whisper. For a minute, she did nothing but fought. It took several moments before he finally got her to look at him. 

The pain was clear in her eyes. He didn't understand why his sleeping on the couch effected her so much but in that very minute, he didn't care. It had obviously effected her very much and  meant he had to fix it. 

He couldn't let this perfect woman be hurt like that. 

Hinata starred up at him.  His dark eyes pierced hers. His hands still firmly wrapped around her thin wrists. 

"Why," she whispered, "Why am I not good enough?" 

Sasuke's heart broke. This perfect woman was too good for him yet she felt like she wasn't? 

"Hinata, listen to me. You are more then good enough for me, understand? If it wasn't for this contract you would have the perfect husband. You would have had the perfect life but instead you drew the short end of the stick and got a messed up jackass. Do you understand? You are perfect. I feel like shit because I'm taking away someone's perfect wife. You go to work and still find time to cook and clean for a shitty human being like me," Sasuke felt like he should have told her about his nightmares but in that moment he needed her to understand that she was more then good enough for him. That he was the one who would never be able to give her what she needed. 

"I can never give you what you want, Hinata. We are stuck together, but you will always deserve better. I know that. You HAVE to know that," one hand slipped down to her shoulder, the other to her face. 

"I don't sleep next to you because I have nightmares that effect me. I have nightmares that the people I care about will die. That everything I have will be taken from me. It causes me to shout in my sleep. That's why I don't sleep in that room. Its sound proof so you can't hear anything," his face came dangerously close to hers. 

Hinata blinked. Sound proof? Nightmares? Her brain was spinning again. She let her hands fall down to her lap. 

Embarrassment filled her body. She had planned to leave over a misunderstanding? What was wrong with her. She glanced down at her hands. 

"Hinata, look at me," Sasuke pleaded. He couldn't help himself. He needed her to look at him. To know she was okay now. 

When she did look at him, he couldn't help himself. He leaned in. 

His lips brushed against hers and Hinata felt her entire body tense before relaxing. Wasn't this what they were supposed to do? Weren't they supposed to kiss? They were supposed to be getting married soon. 

Sasuke felt her tense against him and pulled away. Dejected he stared at her. 

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have," Sasuke mumbled before standing. He turned to leave but was stopped by a hand on his wrist.  

Hinata didn't want him to leave. She felt like they were finally making a break through. Starting to act like a married couple. Something they would have to eventually do. 

"Stay, please," she begged. 

Emotions were running high. Sasuke could feel the tension in the air. She was waiting on him. What he did next would define their entire marriage. 

Hinata watched as he bent down. She didn't expect him to pick her up and carry her to the bed but he did. 

He finally crawled on his side of the bed.