The King of Lame Puns

Puntacular

Pun #1:
I was just cutting carrots for my mom, and my bro comes up to me and takes like three carrots  from me. Quite honestly, I was offended, those were my carrots. He suddenly placed the carrots on his wrist and said, "Three-carrot watch."
aha...

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Joke #1:
So I was waiting for my turn in the bathroom, and my brother always takes his sweet time to beauty himself up. So like after an eternity later, he finally comes out and I go in. He stops me for a moment and I could see it in his eyes. He was gonna teehee.
"Hey."
"What."
He did a full body turn and flipped his imaginary luscious hair.
Bruh
"Aren't I dripping with good looks?"
I laughed aha,
then slammed the door on his face.

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Pun #2:
(Pho is a type of noodle)

I eat like, really slow. I don't know why, I just do. I always eat in peace, and I like my peace. But it got disturbed quickly. So my brother finished his pho, and then commented on how delicious it was. And I usually don't see the pun/jokes coming, but probably 90% of the time I facepalm.
"huehue."
I stop eating. "What?"
"It was delicious."
"I know right?"
"Yeah, I'll never pho-get this!" (He wiggled his eyebrows)
"Good for you, now wash the dishes." :)

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A meh one:

I was watching my brother grilling pork in our backyard patio. He saw me drooling (because who wouldn't?) and pointed it out like I KNOW I AM. Then I heard him murmur "so porky..."
I gawked at him. "Are you implying I'm fat??"
"Y-"
"I hate you."

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Pun #3:

I think we were in the asian supermarket in Orlando and I was pushing the cart following my brother's lead. Looking how he wasn't picking up anything, I assumed we were done shopping.
"I think we're done, let's go."
"Wait. What foods do you like?" He asked, while picking up a can of olives.
"Uhh, that's such a random question, but okay. I like-"
He then cut me off and said, "Or do you like...olive them?"
I tried holding back my smile and frowned at him instead, but it did me no justice. "C'mon, stop. Put down that and let's go."
"But I have more puns."
"Do I look like someone who needs to hear them?"
"Yes-"
"Bruh no-"

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Note: I revised so it's not 13yr old cringe anymore lol. Yes, these events did happen and yes, my brother did create and said those puns on the spot.

If you teehee-ed or facepalmed, or have any puns/jokes you would like to share, feel free to comment! Happy smiling! ☻︎☺︎︎☻︎