The End of you and me

IT's Not A Dream It's Real

Alecs pov

"Alec. It's time to get up." My mum said softly and rubbed my arm. I cried the whole night and at some point I had must fallen asleep. I hoped it was a dream and I woke finally up but it wasn't it was real. I didn't want to get up because I had to go go to school which meant I would meet him. I didn't want to see him ever again because it would hurt me too much but I had to go to school. "Alec, its the last day you don't want to miss that." She said after a few minutes and I opned my eyes. "Last day?" I asked and sat up yawing. "Yeah, today is the last day and then you will go to the college after the holidays." She explained and I scratched my arms. I was so busy with the whole thing with Magnus that I totally forgot this was the last day. It would also be the last day I was forced to see him. "That's great." I said and got up. I tried to push all my sadness back and it worked somehow. It was hard to think about him so I tried to think about my future. I wanted to opned a gym since I was 15 and that was my plan. I wanted to study sports for five years and then come back. I hoped that in this time I could forget him and move one. I wanted to get my happiness back in these five years. I went to the bathroom and I looked like crap. My eyes were red and swallon from all the crying I also had dark circles under my eyes because I barly slepet the last few days. I still couldn't believe that I would have to go to school without him. I would have to go through my dayli routine without Magnus and it hurt terrible but I couldn't change anything. Izzy once told me what a queen does when she falls. She fixs her crone stands up and bury the haters with a smile. A king could do the same so I could do that too. What was I talking about? I was broken and I was already crying again because it hurt so much. I didn't want to go on that damn college and case my dream or plan my futere. There was no future without him and now I was in a hole. I fall into a deep black whole and I had no idea how I should get out of it again. I wanted to be mad at him I wanted to hate him but I couldnt. I thought you could never hate a person you loved so much even you try your best. Magnus was a big part of my life but I had to close this chapter and leave him in it. What hurt the most was the look in his face when we pulled back from the kiss. He looked at me with an ashamed almost disgusted face and that hurt...that face hurt like hell. It was in my head and as much as I tried to get it out I couldn't. Was he disgusted by me? Did he hate me now? Was it so disgusting to kiss me? I knew I never was the prettiest but to get jughed by him was diferent. It was like a punch in my face to get jughed from someone you loved. I hoped that I could make it better if I told him I was gay but it made everything worse. All my thoughts were killing me but I couldn't stop them. I walked to my closet and took out a black jeans with a black shirt. I wanted to wear everything but not something were people would notic me. I wanted to wear something inconspicuous and to be honest I wanted to be invisible. I even wore my black sneakers in the hope the whole black look would make people ignore me. I stood in front of my closet mirror and tried to put on a smile but I gave up. Suddenly someone knocked on my door and Izzy came in. She smiled at me softly and hugged me without saying anything. "Goodmorning." She mumbled in my chest and I hugged her back. "Goodmorning." I said back but my voice sounded so empty. "Alec, look I can't see you like that. I want to distract you a little bit." She pulled back and looked at me concerned. "What do you have in mind?" I sighed and she smiled at me. "Today is the last day of school and the Morgenstern boy will throw a big party. We could go there?" She asked with a smile and I wasn't sure. I could need a distraction and to be honest I would like to drink so much that that I forgot everything. I sighed and she smiled at me. "I'll think about it, okay?" I asked and smiled weakly back. "Okay." She answered and we both walked down to the kitchen.

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Magnus pov

I heard my alarm ringing and turned around but not to get up only to turn it of. I wished all this was a dream I finally woke up from but it wasn't it was real. I turned it off and continued to sleep not even thinking about getting up. I and my mum talked last night a few hours and I cried a lot but she comforted me. I was still not ready to accept the fact that Alec was gone amd wanted to fix it as long as we had school together. I heard how my door opned and my mum was walking in with her heigh heels. "Magnus, get up it's the last day. You don't want to miss it." She said softly and I turned around to face the wall. My pillow was wet from all the crying and I even cried myslef to sleep. "Hmm...one day at the end of the week won't hurt." I mumbled and she pulled my blanket away. "Magnus, it is the last day of school. You will leave school and go to college after this day." She said and I sat up in shock. I had no time to fix that all. If she was really right today was the last day I would be able to see him because how I knew him he would never go on the same college as me. "Awake now?" She asked me and I nodded. I got up and already was fighting against my tears. I thought I never felt so terrible like I felt right now. I didn't put on makeup or sparkling cloths because I wasn't in the moode for that. I put on black skinny jeans with a winered shirt and fixed my hair a bit. Then I went to my desk when I saw the picture of me and Alec on the first day of hightschool.

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"Magnus, come on we'll be late if you don't hurry now." Alec yelled and walked into the room of Magnus. His eyes got bug when Magnus just stood in boxers in front of a huge hill of cloths. "What the hell Magnus. You aren't even dressed." Alec sighed and Magbus looked at him desperated. "Okay. Blue shirt with the glittle letter and black sinnky jeans." He said and Mahnus nodded agreing. He couldnt choos what to wear but Alec always helped him. "Thank you, Alexander." Magnus smiled and got dressed quiclky. "Okay let's go." Alec said and dragged Magnus down the stairs. He didn't want to be late but with the time it became a habit of them to be late.
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Magnus pov

I had to smile when I thought about our first day of hightsool. Eveyone said to us that we would find new friends and forget each other but we didn't. We stayd friends well till...till I ruined it. I walked downstairs and put on my shoes when my mum gave me a confused look. "Where is my son and what have you done with him?" She asked and I looked at her with a weak smile. "He lost his best friend and himself." I ansered and she walked to me. "My poor boy." She said softly and hugged me. "Come, I give you a ride. I don't want you to drive like that." She said and I agreed. I thought it was better if she drove because if I drove I would propably drive against a tree to make all that stop. My big dream was always to become a big fashion designer and I even wanted to make a fashionline for Alec and his gym but this dream died. I didn't see a future without my best friend. "Head up. It's gonna be okay." She whispered and I smiled weakly. "He needs time." She added and I nodded. I had to hold back my tears because it hurt so much I couldn't even say how much it hurt. I had to talk with him today. If he really went on a diffrebt college tham me then I had to tell him at least that I still want him as my friend. But if he didn't want me in his life anymore I had to say goodbye at least. We had to say goodbye to let go of each other. I looked a last time in the mirror and I looked like I felt...like shit. If I could wish for one thing to come true I wouldn't wish to get my dad back I would wish to love Alec. I wish I could love him the way he did and feel the same but I couldn't. Of course I could have said I love him like he did but it would be a lie. If I have forced myself in that relationship I would have made myself unhappy. If I was unhappy he would be unhappy too. It'seasier like that and we could move one easier.I hated myself for not loving him back and causing all that pain but my mum was right you cant force feelings. I wanted to go on a party tonight and drink so much that i forget eveything and everyone. But if that was really over between me and Alec we had to say goodbye. To say goodbye was the only way to move on from each other. If we didn't say goodbye I would still hope to get my friend back but if we said goodbye I would know I lost him forever. At least it would be clear and we could heal even I thought this wound would never heal.

Please tell me what you think. I think 2 more chapters and it is over🌸🌸🌸