Blackmail My Love

Chapter Five

Soft lights, faint chime of voices, the quiet clatter of forks against plates. A white table cloth, a dangerous choice in a restaurant, a needed choice for the upscale. The smells of many dishes wafted through the air to come together in one savory scent that made your mouth water. It was slightly cold, the air, but comfortable.

Still, my tongue was dry, my hands clammy, my apatite gone.

"Ivory?"

I looked up, my dad sat across from me wearing a personally tailored navy blue suit -- no tie. He was comfortable while remaining professional with a suave air around him. His peppered hair added to his charm. My father, a handsome man, a respectable man who loved his son that only lied.

I'm sorry.

"Yeah?" I smiled, grabbing a biscuit.

Dad sighed, I bit my lip, nervous. 

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I laughed, giving a light shrug as I placed the biscuit on a small saucer in front of me.   "Of course, why?"

He smiled, grabbing his napkin and placing it on his lap. "You're talking less than you usually do and Ryan didn't come in when he dropped you off. Did you two fight?"

Always, he was on point. I wiped my hands on my pants. "A new kid at school has been messing with me and Ryan fought with him."

There was silence, a knot form in my throat. Dad took his time, taking a smooth drink of water, savoring the moment. He didn't stare at me but the lack of his look scared me even more. There was no way to know what he was thinking.

The glass was put down, his eyes locked with mine, a soft supportive smile was faintly displayed on his face. It took everything in me to keep from weeping. He asked, "Is that all?" leaning forward, elbows on table, arms crossed. I was his main priority. "You know you can tell me anything."

I opened and closed my mouth, no words coming out, hardly any air making it's way in.

"Dad, I'm . . . I'm . . ."

He smiled. There was no tension, no pressure to continue, only the simple encouragement of a single word. "Your?"

Would he hate me? Would he reject me? I loved him, my closest family, my only father. I couldn't loose him. I wouldn't be able to stand a disappointed look in his eyes, the slamming of a door in my face. No, I don't want that.

A smile -- fictitious. "Nothing."

He leaned back, the smile on his face not wavering for a second as the waiter came up to our table.

We gave our orders.

.     .     .

Yet again I wore all black and the slight aroma of cigarettes hung  to me like a bad rumor in a small town. I wasn't angry today, I didn't know how to feel. There were only two things I knew for sure, I didn't want to see Ryan and I almost came out to my dad last night.

Walking into school I ignored everything that was biological. As far as I was concerned the hallways were empty and the eyes that stared at me were imagination. 

I looked to see Zane leaning against my locker, the bruise on his face still prominent. It didn't affect his looks in the least.

He completely shifted as soon as his eyes landed on me. I was not in the mood.

"Even depressed and gloomy you still look as sexy as ever," he joked. I just sighed in turn. I didn't want to do this, not now, not ever again. I didn't say anything.