"Exactly! You look perfect!" he wraps one arm around me, bringing the camera to our faces. I st with a frown on my face, "aren't you going to smile?" 


I don't say anything, but glare in his direction. 


"Suit yourself..." he sighs. Right as he takes the picture, he kisses my cheek, making me break out in a large smile. 


"There! See! Perfect!" he says joyfully, "what do you want it to say?" he asks. I shrug my shoulders. He puts a simple heart emoji, "now you just tag me and...there! You are officially apart of Instagram!" 


I smile, kissing the top of his head, "thanks Chanyeol!" 


"Is that all I get? A thank you? I just led you into the next generation, you know!" he complains. I walk up the steps as he watches me patiently. 


"Aren't you coming?!" I yell down to him. 


A smile explodes on his face and he races up the stairs behind me. 


The next morning because I'm a bag of TRASHHHH!


I wake up in the morning, the sun shining through the shutters. Chanyeol has already left for work, so I get up and take a shower, getting dressed for the day. 


I walk downstairs, and go to the fridge to grab some yogurt and granola. As I sit at the counter eating I remember what we did last night. 


(stop it you dirty minds!)


I find my phone in the living room and pick it up, seeing a ton of notifications on the front page. I open them up and see that I have gained over 100,000 followers within one night, and have more than 70,000 likes on my picture. 


"Holy cows and pigs..." I say to myself. I smile, sitting back down at the counter. I go to the comment section, scrolling through to see what everyone said. 


What I find stabs me straight in the gut. My stomach turns at the comments:


who is this ugly hoe?


she's such a whore, why is our Channie with her?


how can someone even stand to look at that?


she doesn't deserve to live let alone be with our Chanyeol!



The comments seem to revolve in an endless sea, getting worse and worse as they go. A single tear falls down my face, the pain swelling up in my soul. I drop the phone, running up to my room, but the words still filter through my mind. 


These past few months, I've felt so happy, it seemed as if my self-esteem was getting better even after how low I used to be. I look at myself in the mirror, picking out every flaw on my body, the scars from my dad, the scars from me, no gap between my thighs...are they right? Chanyeol doesn't deserve this.


I shake the thoughts off, trying not to go back to where I used to be. 


I call Chanyeol, praying that he would pick up, but of course no answer. I call (b/f/n), knowing that she would help; she's been here with me before. 


I hear her pick up and I shakily say, "(b/f/n)?" 


"Hey (y/n)! You won't believe it! I went to visit Kai today and he asked me to go out with him tonight! We're going out to dinner!" she says happily. 


I wipe my tears, quickly trying to pull myself together, "that's awesome (b/f/n)! I'm so happy for you!" 


"Are you alright?" she asks. 


I try to hold in the sniffles as much as I can, "yeah, I'm fine! I just wanted to call to see how you were doing!" 


"Oh this is so great (y/n)! It feels like my dreams are finally coming true-hey Kai! Sorry (y/n), I've got to go, bye!" she says, hanging up. 


I bite my bottom lip, thoughts streaming through my brain. 


Why didn't you tell her?


Because I didn't want to bother her!


But that's what best friends are for!


She's happy! She shouldn't have to deal with this!


I yell at myself. My head turns, looking into the mirror on the wall. My eyes are red, with streams flowing down my cheeks. I raise my arms, turning around, looking at every inch of me, and getting more and more sick as I look. 


how can someone even look at her? 


I grab at part of my body harshly, trying to get a new perspective to find something worth looking at. 


she doesn't deserve to live, let alone be with our Chanyeol!


I drop to the floor in tears, knowing that the pain won't end soon. 

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