Lately I've felt like no matter how much or how loud I speak no one can or will hear me. Like I'm invisible or just that person that no one wants to be around. All of this emotion or fellings have emerged since I started to take the ADHD pills and yesterday (may 16th, 2018) I took 3 pills instead of 1 like I'm supposed to. I had a huge stomach ache and didn't eat anything all day, so now I'm starving because my pills cause suppression of diets/wanting to eat. Oh also I'm sitting in my room pretending to be doing my RELA project which is due tomorrow and i have almost nothing done but this tree that has a budding branch, a flowering branch, and a dead branch.
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Every one keeps leaving me by my self and i mean i like being alonr but still when i come to camp i want to be with my friends but they all kepp walking away or cutting me off in the middle of the conversation to go talk to someone else and it's reallt annoying. And not to metion whats happening at school a girl SKYLAR is being such a brat I'd like to say something a else but keeping it PG here. Anyway SKYLAR it started when all i did was accidentallybrush her shpulder whike i was walking by and she snapped at me like i did something wrong and so i playfully ppked haer and she YELLED at me over nothingvand all she's done since thwn is glare at me, claim i talked about her behind her back, and just pulled all the people that want to hang around me away from me all day. Plus all I've done to my self is push everyone else away from me and basicly let them know i didn't want tgem around any morw i prefer tp be isolated because i can never find my group my people even my friends have said it they're only my friends because i like BTS if i didn't they wouldn't gang around me so i ditched the BTS hoodies and just tried to be invisible like i should be smart, invisible, and lonley thats HOW i should be. And i am lonley somewhat smart and definitely invisible ol' me and thats the way I'll always be by my self honesty some times i enjoy it other times i actually fear neing alone and that I'llbe alone my whole life nut like i said i enjoy being alone most of the time. To be completely hinest i am alone on a bench in a camp by my self writing this as people walj by not even bothering to see if im okay or want to gi do something actally u want ti fo do archery but i have to ue the"buddy system" it's so annoying and no one will vo with me so I'm stuck her by my self outside on a nench writing by my self. I wish i could just die right now and all this pain will over. I wish o really could.
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NEW UPDATE
today was great i got to trot on a horse named Poseidon it was great he was good it was alittle rough though i think camp just got a whole lot better. Because of it i was happy and somewhat cheerful.
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I've had an okay day u til now when it's time for the massacre i have to be 2 places at once so at 4 i went amd changed into my dress which I'll be wearing for the next 4+ hours.
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And noe theres a girl thats acting like abd adult but annoying and braty unlike an adult so not like an adult.at camp we have a loud side and a quite side she picked the loud side but she wants quite like if you want to be quite GO TO THE OTHER SIDE.
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Any way that was my hectic yet fun day thanks for reding and write again soon.😁😁😁😙😙
