Unsustainable [VKOOK]

Reflection

"What do you mean?

-Well, I'm not going to stay here for a month." His friend rolls his eyes at his words, shaking his head slightly.

"I don't think I told you to leave, Kookie...

-What? You want me to stay?" The raven-haired male asks with a dumbfounded tone, his eyes widening and his body moving on its own to make him sit back on the couch. What is Hoseok even telling him right now? He definitely can't invade his friend's personal space for so long...

"It's good to have you here. We're both alone, so living together would be a great way to feel less lonely, don't you think? Of course if I'm tired of you I'll just throw you in the nearest motel..." Jungkook chuckles at this, and the other man offers him a little smile even though the younger can see he's confessing something that was pretty tough to utter. Indeed, Hoseok is used to spend his days on his own as he's never officially been in a relationship. Jungkook sometimes tries to broach the subject, yet every time his friend withdraws in his shell so that he can't get any word out of him. He knows there is something wrong, yet he doesn't really know how to help the older.

"If you insist..." He grins, feeling reassured at the thought he's not going to end up all alone in a cheap hotel room that night, "But you have to tell me if I bother you at one point, right?

-You won't." Hoseok immediately replies with a smile and Jungkook leans forward to apply a noisy kiss on his forehead, making the other laugh loudly and call him disgusting.

"Thank you, Seokkie... You're the best.

-I know, you brat."

----

Taehyung lies sprawled on the bed, his eyes wide open and fixated on the ceiling that he can barely distinguish, as it's been a while since the last ray of daylight has disappeared behind the horizon. The chestnut-haired male had gotten to bed early that night, almost right after the sun did, as he felt completely spent after the events of that day: the appointment with the counsellor, Jimin manhandling him and then Jungkook acting so differently with him had positively exhausted him. However, once he had slipped under the covers he had found out he actually couldn't sleep, tossing and turning while waiting for that sweet darkness to engulf him. But nothing came, as thousands of thoughts kept swirling into his mind and prevented him from finding his much awaited rest: why did Jimin act like this? Why did Jungkook act like this? What does his husband feel about him now? Certainly not love, but are things getting better between them? Or maybe it didn't mean anything at all? Will the fact they won't see each other for a month truly help them? What if Jungkook ends up thinking it's better to live without him? What if he himself finds out he likes living alone? So many questions and not even one answer, Taehyung feels utterly lost at the moment.

However, above all he feels alone. Hoseok texted him earlier that day in order to ask him if everything was okay, and also to tell him he would come over in a few days. Yet Taehyung knows that as kind as he is, his friend won't be able to change anything about the fact the apartment feels too big for one person since Jungkook left, and so does the bed. Everything is cold, and he finds himself longing for the way his husband and he spent their nights a few years ago, their legs tangled in the bed and their bodies so close that they never felt anything else than warm. How could it change so fast? Taehyung often asks himself this question, and it surprises him every time how one's life can do a U-turn so quickly. He wonders if it will change for the best now, he's quite tired of struggling and he hopes the future holds laughs and smiles instead of cries and fights.

Taehyung sighs before getting out of the bed, the floor ice-like under his bare feet, and heads towards the bathroom where he knows his much-needed sleeping pills are. He doesn't like the idea of relying on medicines to help him drift to slumber, so he tries to take them only when necessary. However, he can't deny that the amount he's ingested over these past months has drastically increased... He can't manage to stop though, at least not until things get slightly better in his life. Plus he has work tomorrow and it's already two in the morning, so that he knows he'll spend the whole day yawning at work if he doesn't seek for the pills' help. The calm atmosphere of the library he's working at is always so relaxing... He is certain he will end up napping with his head propped on a stack of books if he doesn't sleep soon.