It was more than a school shooting

Chapter eight

"What," is all I managed to say.

What she did after that only shocked and confused me. She stabbed herself in her left arm, right in front of me. It was with the same pen she was taking notes with. She screamed, and my parents burst through the door. She yelled at my parents. She told them I had stabbed her. I just sat there, not knowing what to do. Much of happened next was a blur. All I remember is hearing the sound of the police cars, the hammering of the judge's gavel, and spending so much of my time isolated in some psychiatric hospital. I'm still here.

"Medically insane," is what they labelled me. INSANE? Me insane!? I knew then without a doubt in my mind that I am the complete opposite. Typing this has helped me a lot. I've remembered so much of what happened that day. So many details that were previously forgotten, like Frank's name, all came back to me.

I had so many questions. Some of those questions were eventually answered. Yesterday, a man, I didn't know, visited me. He told me he was a psychologist, but he never give me his name.

"How are you feeling, James?" he asked.

"What do you want?"

"It's about the pills."

"What about them?" My voice started to tremble.

"You're fourteen, aren't you?"

I didn't reply. I knew he was just trying to make small talk.

"Listen," his tone changed. I could tell he was irritated, "I told them this was the only way to make you compliant.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"We need you, but you've already seen too much."

"Who is 'we'?" I was starting to yell.

"That's not important. What's important is what happens next." He took a long pause before saying, "There's were no bodies found that day... because there wasn't a culprit... because there wasn't a school shooting."

"You just expect me to believe that?" It was almost comical hearing that.

"You're only fourteen. You have your whole life ahead of you. Right now, you have two options. You can either stay here, isolated for the rest of your life, and eventually go mad, or you could just take the pills. Once a day, just for a week. Then you could live a normal life again. You've already been in hear for two weeks. Do you understand?"

I realized something, then. Who or whatever was behind this was big. Bigger than me, bigger than you, and maybe even bigger than the government. Maybe it was the government. They had the power to make tragedies disappear. It was obviously that they were planning something, and somehow I was involved. Instead of answering his question, I asked him a few of my own, "What's in those pills?"

"They'll help you forget about that day."

"Are they just sleeping pills?"

"They're more than that."

"What about all those people that died?"

He take a deep breathe and said, "They weren't people."

"What the hell were they, then!?" I yelled.

No answer.

"What about the library? What happened to the bomb?"

"It was no longer necessary."

"What about Alisa, Frank... an- and Mr. Stevens?" I asked frantically.

"They never attended that high school. Do you... finally understand?" he asked in a monotone.

There was a long pause until I finally replied, "Yeah." There was nothing else I could really do. His vagueness was frustrating.

He took a bottle of pills out of his pocket and gave them to me. He said, "I'll come. and ask you a few questions every day after you start taking the pills," and then left.

I'm typing this now to let you all know that I'm not strong enough. I'm not strong enough to live in this hell for the rest of my life. I'm going to take those pills because I want to return to my normal, uneventful life, which is exactly why I won't be naming the school. I don't want any extra attention. There's no one that help me. There are still so many unanswered questions. Is it really worth it knowing only part of some convoluted plan at the cost of my own sanity? Of course not. I just want to go home.

Before I go, I thought I'd tell you what became of Alisa and Frank. Apparently, Alisa, along with her father, had been involve in a car accident. They say their corpses were unrecognizable. Frank's body was found in another state. His death was linked to a string of murders that are still being investigated. Why would they kill him? I don't know. I never found out what happened to Mr. Stevens. Maybe he was apart the plan, and he needed to save me. It creeps me out just thinking about it. Why me, out of everyone else? I doubt that I'm ever going to get an answer to anymore of my questions. I don't care, though. I just want to put this whole thing pass me and live a normal life...