My Arranged Marriage

I Do

“I do” the bridesmaid prompts me in my ear.   I realized I had been zoning out again.  I look at the man in front of me, knowing that these words would bind me to him forever.  He was a total stranger, this was actually the first time I saw him.  Oh he was immaculate in a tux, had those facial features that would make male models jealous. In short, he was the man every girl wanted to date.  Everything was perfect, except for his eyes.  A silver colour but there was something weird about them.  Every time I saw his face, I get the feeling that I should run the hell away.  And he never smiled.

I felt nudged again and realized the priest was waiting for me.  I looked at my to be husband, and he looked dead angry, like he could throttle me.  “I do” I say hastily and the girl behind me sighs.

“I now pronounce you man and wife” the priest says, happy with my answer.  Did he know I was forced into this wedding?

“You may now kiss the bride” he says and I freeze again.  It felt like walking in a crowd of people and a stranger tries to kiss you.  Fortunately, he leans in and pecks my cheek ever so lightly. I sigh and everything else becomes a blur.  The mixed emotions I had been harbouring all let loose and I zoned out.

Greeting guests, walking out the church, getting to the reception, it all seemed like a painful headache…and it was.

It was only at the reception that the bridesmaid, my supposed cousin Daphne, nudged me again.  “Smile, this moment will be remembered for years.” She said and smiled to the camera.  She was one breath-taking woman.  She’d give competition to the most successful models.  And my mind wanders back to two months after my dad’s funeral.

“But mother, how can you do this?” I shrieked when she still would not change her decision.

She shook her head.  “You were always ungrateful!” she says and takes a sip of her wine.  Anyone looking at her graceful manner would think she was royalty or something. 

“I am not being ungrateful, I just cannot believe you are asking me to marry someone I don’t know” I tried my damned hardest not to shout.

“You have no choice.  You are the only remaining descendant of the McGregor family.  You have to marry the McMillan man.” She stated as though that was it.  My mother always behaved as though she was royalty or something.  In fact, she would always tell us that she comes from the McGregor family, a very powerful one in Ireland.  In fact, after the funeral, we had moved in with some of her family, her cousin and his family.  That was when I met Daphne, my cousin.  I instantly felt inferior to her beauty.  But contrary to what I thought, she was warm and friendly.

I always wondered why she married my dad, owner of a garage.  And now she tells me that I have to marry the supposedly enemy family, so as to preserve peace or something. 

 “I am not marrying someone I do not know, especially not for family peace or such bullshit” I retorted.  My father was always there for me, but my mother, she was always distant.  I missed him in such moments, he was the only one who would stand by me.  “Why can’t Daphne do it?”

“Daphne is not a direct descendant, though she would indeed have been better at it than you” came the reply.

I shook my head.  “There’s no way in hell that I will do it”

My mother’s features became hard as she pushed back her wine glass.  She looked straight at me and said in a chilly voice, “You do not even have one ounce of beauty, it should be a fairy-tale that a rich handsome guy is marrying you.  Even your father knew you would never be the type of girl a man would want.  So for the sake of your father’s peace, you will get married so that wherever he is, he would not be worried about you, as he always was when he was alive” she finished and walked out of the kitchen.

Daphne nudges me again.  “You cannot be spacing out like this.” She whispered and I nodded.  My groom was talking to his best man and everyone else was enjoying.  I sighed.  I was married…at least it was a big feast.  Everyone was interested in my mother returning to the family, everyone admired how she still retained her beauty.

After an hour, Daphne and I walked to the room to help me change.  “Oh cheer up.  You married such a handsome man!”

I chuckled and started taking off the veil and jewellery.  “You really should have married him.”

“I wish, but I am not the firstborn, you are” she says with a hint of regret in her voice.  Oh I would be so glad to trade births with her!

“Seriously, why don’t you people stop with this!  It’s 2014 for God sake.  What’s with the firstborn thing!”  I nearly shout.  Jeez, my nerves were all over the place.

She shrugs.  “You are lucky you have not been in the family from the start.  But this is how its always been.  It’s a curse being one of the oldest families of Europe.” She says then shakes her head. 

“But anyways, -“ she was saying when there was a knock on the door.

Daphne walks out and returns in less than a minute with a blush on her cheeks.

“Your groom personally came to deliver this” she says with a shy smile.  One thing I learned about belonging to this family was that they had servants for everything.  So my groom coming to deliver this was indeed…unusual.

I take the box from her and inside was a deep purple dress.  I stare at it and shake my head.  “I am not wearing that” I state.

Daphne looks horrified.  “Why not?  Look at this dress, its perfect.” She holds it up for me to look.  The said dress was gorgeous with lace and satin.  It had an air of high society to it.  But what attracted to me most was that it was conservative and not revealing at all.  I shake my head. 

“My point exactly.  Its looks too expensive and I am not wearing that.” I say

“He said it’s his family colour” she says in a low voice.  I sigh.  Jeez, families now have specific colours associated to them.

“Alright, but you need to help me in that.” I say and Daphne nods happily.

As soon as I walked into the room, my husband who was talking to some men, walked towards me.  He had this smile that every man has when they see a beautiful woman.  I frowned.  I was not delusional that I was a raving beauty.  I looked to my side and saw Daphne standing there too.  It made sense he would look at her and have that expression on his face.  I shake my head…really, they should have married.

He comes to stand on my other side, places his hand on the small of my back, and walked towards to exit.  I walked out, not taking in people’s gazes, those judging gaze.  I could see it in their eyes. 

“what does he see in her?”
“Why would he marry this one, when the cousin was much prettier?”

And then my mother stood at the door.  I could see the disappointment in her eyes.  “Why couldn’t my daughter be a beauty like me”

I sighed and hugged her goodbye. 

Mrs. McMillan and Miss McMillan stood there too, both beaming with happiness.  “I am so glad to have another daughter” she said and gave me a big warm hug.  She seemed genuine among all these fake ones.

My sister in law on the other hand, a famous model, hugged me too.  “Welcome to the family” she said and I could not fathom whether it was welcoming me or a threat.

However, she looked at my husband, and brightened. “Have fun you too” she wished us and waved us goodbye.

My groom opened the door to the car for me and walked to the other side.  I waved them one last goodbye.

I sighed as soon as he closed the door.  The dreaded moment.  An Awkward silence.  He took out his laptop and started working on it and I sighed.  It’s better than trying to small talk.  What do you say to a stranger who just agreed to share your life?

I stared out the window and saw the street lights whisk away.  Then at the night sky.  I had the dreaded feeling that I was being led towards destruction.