Broken

Chapter 6

"My beautiful little angel" I heard him murmur and my eyes drifted into darkness.

Then when morning came he was gone. My mother was left to explain to me that he had left us. She looked like she'd been crying the whole night.

For hours to hugged me so tight and wouldn't let me go. A few days later we left our house in central London and moved to Edinburgh where Aunt Gracie lived.

Over the years I'd sometimes catch her late at night watching her wedding film and crying her heart out. Other times at photos of her and my father and looked deep in thought.

And that's when I promised myself I would hate him, him for what he had done, for leaving us. For hurting my momma.

The man's children in the cell next to me would probably hate him too they would think he left them, his wife, and his children would all hate him thinking he had disappeared.

Suddenly tears started gushing down my face.

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry" I crocked.

He didn't speak at first but a few minutes I heard a whisper.

"It's okay doll face, it's not your fault I knew this day would come I'm paying for the bad things I've done in the past. I've been waiting for death to catching me up for a very long time." He looked haunted.

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss in life is what dies inside us while we live. And believe me I died inside a very long time ago." He eyes were sad. So very sad.

Just then the double doors clanked and then I along with the man beside me was dragged out. We were then shoved into a room.

And I was made to watch and they beat the man into oblivion.

"Noooooo" I screamed

"please please stop please" I begged.

"I'm sorry please I'll never disobey again." I cried.

But the men wouldn't stop I recognised two of their faces.

Dylan and Matt. The two people who had helped me out when I had got here.

My friends. But they wouldn't stop they couldn't for if they did that would be disobedience too.

"It's okay" I heard him croak. He tried to give me a reassuring smile but I could see his eyes were fading fast.

There was blood everywhere and then I saw the shiny metal thing in Matt's hand.

A hunting blade.

"Nooo" I jumped in front of the man on the ground as he continued to cough up blood. But within seconds Dylan had me in his iron grip. His hands holding my face in place so I would watch.
The man looked up to give me once last reassuring smile he was trying me tell me everything was okay.

The tears streamed down my face as I cried.

Matt then did what he had been trained to do. Kill.

No remorse.

No sorrow.

No nothing.

He was a mere puppet in Jackson's game.

And just like that the man before me went limp.

Dylan let go on me and I dropped to the floor my legs couldn't move they were weak. I was weak.

Jackson was then behind me his malicious smile had return he was showing me he had won.

"I hope you learnt your lesson disobedience is not tolerated here. This is your fault when you failed to take your order to sentence the man to this. You did this."

"oh and John was his name I'd like you to add the list of your kills continue disobeying me and I promise you that list is going to get larger very fast."

John.

Realisation dawned on me.

I had killed a man.

I didn't even know his last name and yet here his lifeless body was next to me and I had done that and I would never forget.

I was a murderer.

"Take her away; I'm sick of looking at her face." The bastard replied.

I was then dragged back to the room that had kept me prisoner for the last year.

Cell number 507; my room.

Blood was everywhere.

All over my hands, clothes, it was like I was drowning in it. I heard the door lock behind me and all of a sudden I felt trapped.

I couldn't breathe.

I was gasping for air while sobbing.

I felt to strong arms behind me.

"Shush it's okay everything's going to be okay try to take deep breaths for me"

Eli.

I turned round and threw myself in his arms.

I cried for the loss of that man.

I cried for his family.

I cried for my momma.

I cried for my father.

I cried.

And Eli just held me tight.

"Shush everything is going to be okay I promise I won't let anything bad happen to you. I won't let them hurt you"

This only made me cry harder my father had said the same thing.

"I hate them all"

After what seemed like hours I curled up next to him and clung on to him. I wouldn't know what I'd do without him.

And without thinking I kissed him. At first he seemed a little shocked but then I could feel him responding.

Everything faded making me forget who I was, what I had become, my mate, my mother, my father, the man who I had gotten killed.

It was just simply me and him.

I hadn't felt for one whole year. But today I had felt so many different emotions. And Eli had taken my first kiss right here.

Eli.

My protector.

My saviour.

I hadn't realised I had been so lost until I had met him and now I wanted him to never leave. He was my new home.

My safe heaven. I told myself, it helped convincing myself I had something in a world where nothing was yours, even your owns self.

"God Clarii, I've imagined this moment from the second you arrived in all the ways I imagined it, it was never like this, I wish I could take you away from this keep you safe from this. You're too good to be in a place like this."
His finger traced my cheek slowly moving to my chin and then my lips.

"Promise me you'll always be here that you won't leave." His hand stopped moving and I felt him tense for a second.

"I need you to promise me" I needed closure. Something that was mine, permanent, a little control in a world of uncertainty.

I needed him to promise.

"Promise me please" I pleaded. I needed to know the only thing close to me would not be taken away too.

"You know I can't promise that, god Clar I wish I could but every day we face a new danger not just from the operations we do but from the enemy within this very building. And I don't want to lie to you but for today I'm here and so are you so I'm thankful." With that he pulled me firmly back in to his embrace.

~~~~~~~~

I am strong, because I've been weak.

I am fearless, because I've been afraid.

I am wise, because I've been foolish.

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