Silent Love

Chapter 8

I could feel my heart racing in my chest as Lukas asks me that. I bite my lip and look at everyone then my mom grabs my hand and says, "Jesse, honey, we need to talk... About somet—" "No mom. Actually, I wanna know why Jesse ran." Jay says and I look at both of them. Lukas winks at me and I bite my lip. I could feel all the heat rushing to my face. "..." I look down before looking at Lukas and twirling my pointer finger in my hair. "...Oh of course." Lukas slaps his face and his parents look at him, "What?" His mom says and Lukas groans, "Jennifer got jealous." I look down at my food before feeling... not hungry. Not hungry at all.

While everyone else was eating and talking, I felt insecure... I look at my bandaged arms and think about how maybe my family would be better without me. I could feel tears burn my eyes as I keep thinking about it. I take a deep, shaking breathe before looking up. Everyone is looking at me. I freeze up then my dad grabs my hand, "So... How was your first day of school?" He looks at me and Jay. I just look down, not wanting to talk about it. "It was fun! Besides the classes, I got to meet a whole group of people and got new friends! And I have Lukas to thank for that!" Jay beams. Lukas rolls his eyes, "It was the least I could do for you guys! I've known you since you guys were practically born!" Lukas laughs and I slowly start to pull out my chair so I can make a run for my room. Before I can, my fathers grip tightens around my arm. I look at him and pulls a fake smile, "Jesse, can I talk to you alone?" He asks and I nod then me and my dad go into the kitchen. He does not loosen his grip at all, in fact it feels like he tightened it. As soon as we are out of everyone's view, Dad looks into my eyes, "Jessica. What's wrong?" He asks and lets go of my arms. I shrug and look at him, pulling another fake smile. "Don't give me that fake smile." He crosses his arms and I take a deep breathe. I could feel my hands shaking and my heart racing in my chest. I look into his eyes and his stare intensifies. I could feel tears burn my eyes then he says, "Jesse, look. You can go to your room. You just gotta promise me something." He says and I start nodding. He grabs my face, "You gotta promise me that you'll try— for your family and yourself— that you will—" I look up at him and back up. I feel like I know what he was gonna say. He was gonna bring up my muteness. Before he can continue his statement, I just run out. I run around a corner, up a flight of stairs and right into my room.

A few minutes pass and I hear a knock on my door. The door slowly opens and I look over, seeing Lukas. A smile appears on his and my face then my smile slowly fades. Lukas closes the door and comes over to me and sits on my bed, "Whats wrong, Jesse?" He asks and I lean my head against his shoulder. He looks at me and I put a hand on my throat. "Your dad gave you THAT talk again?" He pulls away and looks into my eyes. I slowly nods. "Ugh! Why can't they just learn, this is who you are! Why can't they just let you be the way you wanna be?!" Lukas shouts and I look down. "Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to yell its just... your parents get on my nerves sometimes." Lukas says, then he grabs my hands. "Jesse, I'm glad your my friend especially after... what happened and I would never ever tell anyone, you know that but... I gotta ask... Why can't one of us... Me or Jay, tell your family what happened?" I could feel the color draining from my face. Lukas bites his lip, "Okay, we won't tell." He smiles then kisses my head. I look up at Lukas then blush. He smiles more then I grab his face and kiss him. I pull away within a second, realizing what I just did. Lukas' face is pure red then he grabs my face and kisses my lips. I kiss back, but only for a second because I realized I just KISSED MY BEST. FRIEND! Lukas and I both smile at each other then he looks away, "That wasn't my first kiss but it was the first kiss I wanted." I could hear him whisper. I hear a gasp then look at my door. I see Jay, and he has a look of disapproval on his face. "MOM!!!" Jay yells and he runs out of sight. "Shit! JAY!" Lukas gets up and runs out, leaving me alone in my room.