The Russle Brothers

Chapter 11 - i was a monster

Todd.

Monday 5th. 11.55pm. 

It hadn't taken long for my gang's constant phone calls to drive me insane, so I finally gave in and answered. I knew that I could only sit in that bar for so long before I'd have to give in and tackle the reality of my life. If I wanted to make this whole thing to work, I had to plan this deal to the most finest details and I couldn't do that without including the people who would be joining me.

My inner voice had questioned whether I felt guilty. Did I feel bad for sentencing my whole gang (who I was supposed to protect) to their death beds, while I got to keep my life? Did I feel guilty that I was screwing over the people who had always had my back, all for my own selfish reasons?

I should have felt guilty. I wish I did, but that heartless, numb human being my dad had brought me up to be was incapable of feeling anything.

It made my life a little easier though. It meant I was able to get the job done and finally start my new life, without having to worry about everyone else around me.

"Where are we going?" Lara asked breathlessly, as she was trying to keep up with my pace, while in six inch heels. "Why are we at the pier? I thought we were supposed to be doing business, not playing the arcades."

"We are doing business." I replied simply, as I continued to walk briskly to get this done and over with.

"How is this business? This place is packed! It's not like we're going to go unmissed."

I ignored her comment.

Bad idea, as it didn't take long for her to start speaking again.

"Todd! What the hell is going on with you?! You're supposed to be a pro at this, but lately you're acting so stupid!" Lara yelled as she grabbed my arm in an attempt to bring me to a stop.

It worked. I came to a abrupt and sudden stop but not at her force, it was due to my own anger boiling up inside.

"Get your fucking hands off of me and be quiet for one second, will you?" I snapped, while trying to keep my own voice composed to prevent causing a scene. "You're the one who is going to draw attention to us if you carry on like that."

"I want to know what you're playing at! Excuse me for giving a shit about this gang."

The attitude was back in Lara's voice and I knew for a fact I had well and truly pissed her off. That was never a good way to start business because Lara was the prize winner at holding grudges. She wouldn't be putting in her all when something hadn't quite gone her way.

"Lara, just chill. He knows what he's doing." Kieran made an attempt to cool things off between us, knowing it could get heated very quickly if not.

Kieran was most definitely a useful member to have in this gang, and in that sense I did feel something about the fact that I would be losing him. I wasn't sure what the feeling or emotion was but somewhere deep inside it was there. He was good at what he did but he was even better at keeping the peace between us all when things got tough. When you were in this life, you had to be able to trust and rely on the gang you identified with, or it would never work. 

If we didn't have Kieran, this gang would have shattered to pieces years ago.

"So what the hell are we doing then?" Lara continued and at this point, the tone of her voice alone was driving me crazy. I didn't know how Matt had dealt with this but I was beginning to question my choices of taking her from his perfect little life, as it hadn't benefited me as much as I'd have hoped.