Bubblegum and Cigarettes

9

I sat up and held my hands awkwardly in my lap. I could see Clarissa out the corner of my eye, legs still sprawled and chest heaving up and down. My eyes were fixed on the TV screen even though it was on the adverts. "Hey," Clarissa's voice was husky, she slowly pushed herself into a sitting position, eyes trained on the side of my face. Her moans were still echoing around the inside of my skull. "Hey," she breathed again as she shuffled toward me, reaching up to touch my cheek but I flinched away. "We're not finished yet."

"I think we are," I snorted still refusing to look at her.

"Nope," she whispered, hand sitting on my shoulder. She began to walk her fingers up my knee and along my thigh. I slapped her hand away and twirled a lock of hair around my finger nervously. I needed a cigarette. Or some bubblegum. Or I should just get out of there.

I stood up and to my surprise so did Clarissa. I frowned at her quizzically and told her I should leave, things got out of hand, things got seriously out of hand. She shrugged then smirked, "Fine. I'll see you around. By the way your lipstick's smudged." I wiped my hand across my mouth self consciously and snatched up my bag, rushing from her house.

I had to stop so I could light my cigarette; it was infuriating how my hands were quivering. I shoved my earphones in and turned the music up on my phone so it was difficult to think. I should really stop fucking around with so many people it was starting to make my life really complicated. That's it; I was going to become abstinent.

Mum was humming when I came through the door, cooking tea which smelt pretty good. I sat on the sofa trying to revise and then after tea I went to have a long bath. I switched my phone off and sunk low in the bath so the warm liquid came up to my chin.

One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest was on telly and it was one of mum's all time favourites so we made hot chocolates and watched it together. I remembered parts of it from the last time I'd seen it but it had been such a long time ago it was practically all new to me.

The next day Clarissa sent me a text asking if I wanted to hang out with the group but I text back telling her I was revising. It was true; I was fed up of being so damn behind on everything. I kinda wanted to make it into the second year. She sent a smiley face so I assumed she was cool with it unlike the last time I'd 'ditched' them. I revised and revised until I actually knew what was going on in my notes and that afternoon I was in a good mood when I went to the Sunshine Café to do my duty.

I double checked the family's order and with a smile went into the backroom to deliver the request to Sharon. I went back out only to see Dylan loitering around. I curled my top lip up at him, "What do you want?"

"Are we cool?" He asked gesturing between the two of us.

"You called me a slag Dylan, no we're not cool." I raised my voice bringing attention to the two of us. Linda bustled past swaying her nonexistent hips agitatedly. "Look," I put a hand on my hip, "Either order something or fuck off."

"Jessica!" Linda snapped from the doorway to the backroom. I glanced at her over my shoulder mildly annoyed, "Here." She barked.

I glowered at Dylan, "If I get sacked then you'd better run." I stalked over to Linda who told me off and gave me my first warning. I narrowed my eyes at Dylan when I came back out with a tray, sulking.

He was waiting for me outside, leaning back against the wall like I did when smoking at sixth form and began to walk instep beside me. I called him a freak. "I'm sorry I called you a slag."

"You know," I shoved some bubblegum into my mouth, "You're saying sorry to me quite a lot at the moment. I'm not gunna shag you again Dylan so you're wasting your time."