Like A Love Song

Epilogue

"Manik... Manik, don't leave me. There's so much more ahead of us..."

"That's it, Manik. Don't fight it. Let go. Come to me."

"Nandini..." I hardly mumbled before the heart rate meter beeped.

Zero.

Zero.

Zero.

Zero.

Zero.

The doctors sighed, pulling their masks off. Even dialysis couldn't work that fast. They needed me to stay up, and in control but I had already ascended to a space above land, to a world higher than the Earth.

"Just don't leave me like Nandini left you. Don't leave another woman hanging, don't put her through what you've been." A head pressed into my chest, where my heart sat motionless. My eyes fluttered open, to a scenario where I laid on an ambulance bed, bound to it and Nandini sat beside me, refusing to let go. It was a deja vu.

Only Nandini and I had switched places.

My plastered hand stretched desperately to feel her beautiful skin, skin that was scarfree and silky smooth like shea butter. She smelled like vanilla. My trembling fingers only made it halfway, as I had no more courage in me.

"If I leave now, what will you do? Can you promise me you will move on, with someone else?"

"If you make me promise to you, I won't go back on my word to you."

Zero.

Zero.

Zero.

Feeling her hold still firm, I exhaled, feeling like I was in a parallel universe, where two women merged into one.

4/2.

12/8.

34/15.

The woman in the pink salwar kameez was walking away, her hand withdrawing from mine slowly. I held on tighter, jerking some motion on me. "Manik..." Her voice echoed and merged into Nandini's silent call for me until she transiently separated from the vicinity in a whiff.

"Don't ever do that to me." Behind her I could see the figure of the girl I loved, with everything left in me. A pair of lips pressed into my cheekbone, and at a distance on the road, the woman dressed in pink smiled, blowing a gentle flying kiss, until a bus bumped into her, and through her.

My body jolted up, like an electric shock passed through. The female doctor who'd rescued me was shedding tears helplessly. "Hold on, warrior. You're going to be alright."

I owed her my life, or much more maybe. Yet, not a single syllable left my lips. "I know your past. I've told myself so many times, to stop feeling this way for you. I can't help..." Her fingers wrapped around the tips of mine desperately holding on.

She was one of my closest friends, supporting me immensely after Nandini left. I knew most things about her, like the left dimple that creased every time she saw something beautiful, or the way her slender fingers pointed uncontrollably as her jaw dropped when something marvellous caught her attention.

I could tell she was holding her tears behind. I didn't want to break her, but I didn't want to commit to something I'd never be able to give her. I shook my head, disapproving myself of the right to make her, or anyone for that matter, cry. "Mukti..." I tugged the hand that she held me with.

She stood up quickly, whisking her stinging tears off. I took a step closer and fit her petite body comfortably in my arms, caressing her hair as I felt her hands claw my shoulders from behind. "I'm sorry." She whispered in the hollow gap between my shoulder bone and neck.

Confessions since then were too hard. A lot has changed, I've grown so much, but some scars cease to fade. Some worries fail to seek validity. Even promises could break. What could I give her to hold on to?

"I wish I could help you."

As tears left her waterline, she pulled her eyelids closed and then tapped my back gently, before grasping my shoulders. "Can you just give me one chance, only one, to pull you out of the darkness you live in—for your sake, and mine?"

***

Jabbing my keys through the keyhole, I let myself into the home I had built from scratch. It was such an important day, and I really wanted to be home earlier than nine in the night! The aroma of butter chicken filled my lungs with immense joy. Though all the lights in the house were on, but the two of them were nowhere to be found. Placing my office bag on the shoe rack, I began my hunt.

"Mukti..." I sought the living room that had toys scattered all over. I resorted to my second escape. "Nandini..."

Two arms wrapped around my waist, while a tiny head pressed into my buckled back. "Shh... She's asleep already! I put her to bed early." She said, before fluttering a kiss onto my dirty shirt, that had cologne leaked over it. Apparently, she loved the smell of it more than anything else.

I smiled, turning her around to have a good look. My present looked splendid on her collarbone, and her saree though disheveled and tucked incorrectly deserved credit, points for the effort. "Happy Birthday honey!" I kissed her forehead gently, while she closed her eyes and tapped her fingers flat over my chest.

Over her frame, I peeked into the room where an angel resided. "I'll just be back, haan?" She watched me leave her field of vision, as I escaped into my toddler's room. Her tiny body was snuggled into a cocoon with a fleece blanket, and the air conditioner blew on her soft baby tresses. Beside her laid her cute dolphin soft toy that was almost as big as her whose neck was scrunched up by her little arm hugging it.

I sat beside her pillow running my fingers through her curly hair. "Nandini..." I whispered, just the name I loved to say out loud. Sometimes when I saw her running around on tripping on things without watching out, she'd remind me of someone dear to my heart. Her incessant apologies, and cheeky smiles when things worked in her favour, only made me think she was a reincarnation of the art I worshipped.

Her colouring books beside her feet restricted her movements, which I decided to put away. Her name labels read: Nandini Manik Malhotra, English stream 1B. A lot of holy scriptures speak about afterlife, and hope for eternal salvation. Myths say afterlife only happens when a soul rests in peace.

"I kept my promise, Nandini. You have my word. I hope wherever you are, you're in a better place now."

——

(There's the much needed closure. This is more like an alternative ending to the fangirls who couldn't stand her death. I really love how this has turned out now and though we can't always be with the ones we love, there's going to be something good in store at the end. I hope the perspective in which the end is seen is not misinterpreted. I understand romantic interests are different from parental relationships, but one thing in common is the unconditional love aspect that I wanted to bring to the limelight. Thanks for being here!)