Jungkook Angst

The Truth, The Lies

We met in a random school club that I joined because of my friend. We were like the little kids arguing over sweets. We were always cursing at each other. The thing was no one knows that we were like a cat and a dog when we were alone.

"Stop copying my words"
"You should stop, I was the one who said it first"
"Shut the f*ck up kid"
"No. You should shut up, retard"

"You are so annoying, f*ck off"
"You are disgusting, f*ck you"
"I want to kill you so badly"
"I will do that to you first"

But when the time flies, I kinda enjoyed this 'annoying argument' we had. The worst part was we became more closer, he even told me about his problems. From him stressing out about his work in school to his personal problems with his family. I didn't mind it at all, well because I love it when people come to me and comfortable to share their problems to me.

As we got closer, he often came to me and randomly said "I like you" instead of "I hate you". I won't be lying tho I kinda attracted to him too . "I like you too, silly boy".

He always acted like he is my boyfriend and sometimes husband. I played along with him as his girlfriend and his wife. We enjoyed every single things we did together without people knowing about us.

"I act like your boyfriend and husband because I like you a lot Y/n. I know you hate this , you told me before but just think that all I say and act are lies."

Little did he knows, I wish it were all real.
_____

"I'm glad I have you now Y/N. Please don't leave me. You are the only one that I have, the one that only care about me"
"No. I won't leave you Jungkook, I promise."
"Thank you, I love you so much Y/N,
my bestfriend"
"Yeah. I love you too ,
My Bestfriend"

I hate to say that word.

____

Jungkook didn't came showed himself in front of me. If he did, he would told me he's super busy nowadays. I tried to talk with him through texts and calls but he just.. seemed busy. I kinda missed him.. a lot. What I missed the most is when he called me "My Honey" "My girlfriend" "My wife" "My Baby"

I found him talking to a new student. He kinda happy talking to her. They looked happy. That was the time I finally realized, he just found his "girl" when I saw them kissing. And that was the day I started to ignored him until one day I blocked his number because I can't bear to see him smiling on his phone.

Because of her.
_____

"Y/n, why can't I texted you?"
I ignored him.
"Y/n, what's wrong?"
I ignored him.
"Y/n.. talk to me, why are you like this?"
I ignored him.
"Y/n.. I did something wrong to you?"
I still ignored him.
"I miss you.."
I miss you more than you do, you silly, stupid, dumber.
"Jungkook, I'm busy."

I wanted to cry, I wanted to yell at him. I wanted kick him, I wanted to punch him. I wanted to kill him.. but I can't do even a single thing on him.
____

I heard that girl had a crush on him. A huge crush. Yes.. they were not a lover .. yet. But I didn't even wanna know about them kissing. She even asked me to set her up with Jungkook. I didn't know how to react. I just nodded. I didn't know what to do.. I knew I will hurting myself.

"I'm hurting myself. You shouldn't hurt me like this. This is unfair" I cried. In front of him.
"I don't understand, y/n please don't cry . You know I hate seeing you crying" He hugged him.

"I love you.." softly.
"w- what..?" He looked at me.
"I love you Jungkook. But I hate us. I hate us."
"Y/n.. why? I-"
"As much as I wanted to be with you, I can't be your girl. Your special girl. We can't.."
"You are already my girl Y/n. You are special to me, You are my b-"
"Stop! I told you.. I hate us. I'm sorry I can't keep my promise to stay with you. There's someone better who would stay with you. I don't want us. I don't wanna be your bestfriend Jungkook because I love you more than.. a friend"
"Y/n.. please don't leave me" he cried. "I only have you.. I will do anything just to make you stay with me forever. Just please don't leave me.." "Alright.. I will tell you the truth.. I actually.. love you more than a friend too"

"All of it are lies" I said.

"I'm sorry Jungkook. I don't know if all you ever said to me were the truth or the lies. I'm sorry I can't stay with you" andvwith that.. I left him. Ignoring what my heart really wanted.

I don't know what hurt me more.. the lies that he did to me or.. the truth that I can't be with him.. because I already have a boyfriend and Jungkook never knows about this.