Clarke POV Clarke PoV
Peace, that's what I felt. It's weird I haven't felt that.... well for years to be honest. No fulfilment from life., no none of that. Just peace.
I don't like it.
'Clark, clarke, clarke...... come on get up' the pestering beg of a little girl I had so gotten use to hearing, jumped in eagerness and excitement next to my bed.
My head slumped to the side looking into the brown eyed girl, madi, I smirked at her and let out a sigh 'fine, fine I'm up'
She smiled at me, all dressed she tugged in my arms and me, only being in a tank top and my jeans I giggled at her.
'Chill let me just get ready' I smirked as I was putting my jacket on
She released an exaggerated sigh 'well come on I need to train remember what you said" she began mimicking me 'you always have to be prepared for anything and everything'
I raised my eyebrows in question 'ok, young lady but I have to radio in first'
She folded her arms at me and replied 'can't Bellamy wait'
I chuckled and replied 'you know that I do this every day Madi'
She slumped to the tatted arm chair next to her 'they never reply and it's been a year they should have come down already so why haven't they'
I looked down and I sighed in slight sadness 'I have to have hope, ok I might be feeding of false beliefs that they are still alive but..... you know what never mind' I was about to give a sappy speech but gave up on it as I angrily gripped the radio from the side of the bed and slumped away to my usual spot next the edge of the hill and told madi 'I'll be back in a sec'
She watched me with sad eyes to show that she was sorry for upsetting me but, I just wanted to do this and finish
It I'll talk to her when I'm done.
I placed the signal dish up at the sky and turned the dial on the radio, breathed in and sighed and clicked the walls talkie for the 2189th time
'Hello, Bellamy ughhh I don't know why I'm doing this when I don't even know if your still alive..' I looked down disheartened 'you know I feel happier with myself than I have ever been, I don't hate myself anymore.. well I always will but I am the better person because of madi, but not fully happy' a tear brimmed my eye 'I just.... you really need to get your asses down here because, I don't know if I'm ever going to feel happy not knowing and my mom and Octavia are still down there, no response and I'm just.... here' I chuckled 'with none of you guys and it's just.... I love madi more than anything and she is my family and I think I would of just gone insane without her but..... i just need to see someone I knew before all of this shit happened because all I have is me here and I don't feel like I deserve that' I frowned and after that I just said 'just please come back'
I turned of the radio and later back on the ground with my hand scraped back through my head and taking in deep breathes that might help cure my sanity of not knowing. Maybe I'm not at peace after all.
