Sincerely, Me

1

Dear mother,

It seemed like just yesterday I was sick. I was laying in bed with a cold rag over my head and a thermometer in my mouth. I was complaining about how bad my stomach hurt. I couldn't move. But you were there. You were right beside me every step of the way. You told me that I would get better and I would soon forget about all of it. Little did you know I would never forget the way you made me feel in that moment. The way you made me feel like it would all be ok the moment I looked into those icy blue eyes. I remember that night how you brushed my hair out of my face and leaned down to kiss me on the head. You turned off the lamp and said that you loved me. You said it so soft and caring. Almost as if there were tears in your eyes. I remember smiling, even though I was sick, because I had my mom there for me. I soon drifted off into a deep sleep. I was 7 then...

I guess I took everything for granted. I mean, I always had you with me. I always had you right by my side, thinking, knowing that you would be there with me every step of the way. Little did I know... I was wrong. I was dead wrong. Little did my little 7 year old mind know what I was soon going to be going through. Little did I know that when one door opened, another would close.

Now I know it sounds like the person died. They didn't. But it feels like they did. For three years I've had that same sinking feeling you get in your chest when you realize the bond you once shared with a person will never be the same. Three years of my life spent tucked away in my room, hiding my tear stained face behind the light of a screen.

It all changed. And I have no idea if it will be the same. I look at you and I get flashbacks of that day when you said you love me with no hesitation. The flashback ends just as quickly and I'm sent back to reality with tears in my eyes. I'm sent back into the reality of knowing that nothing may ever be the same. Knowing that our bond that I once thought was stronger than diamond, was hanging by a small thread. I can't bring myself to look at you. Your blue eyes will never hold the warmth they once did when you look at me.

And so I run back to by room with tears in my eyes and hide my face behind a screen, escaping this cruel reality once more.

Sincerely,
A desperate daughter