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five | white stemmed promises

five | white stemmed promises

          They were laying in a field of daisies, and it was beautiful and romantic because Remy didn't even know they had fields in her town let alone daisies. And as they laid sprawled underneath the cloudless sky, she couldn't help but marvel at the serenity of it all, little ice particles crunching underneath her as a reminder that winter had just passed.

          "What is love?" Nicholas turned to look at her, brown curls capped with a snow cap, cheeks pink, and gloved rainbow hand in his. He never felt so at peace with himself. She blinked up at the sun, lost in the words swimming around in her head, trying to pick out the best ones. Nicholas rolled over on his stomach and threw an arm around her waist, dragging her closer until she was tucked underneath him and she couldn't breathe.

          "What was love when you were with him? Your ex?" he pried.

          "I honestly couldn't tell you. And I don't think I could even if I wanted to. It's different for everyone," she turned away from his steady gaze trained on her every movement and deepening embarrassment, though he didn't understand what she could be embarrassed about. Then she spoke.

           "I didn't even realize I was in love with him until New Year's Eve when he stayed on the phone with me as the ball dropped in New York and as I screamed in his ear One Direction lyrics all the while saying nothing important to each other but just "ummm, I don't know what to say" because we didn't care that we both had nothing to say, we just cared that we were bored together, and that while all our friends were out drinking it up we were on chat messaging youtube videos back and forth to each other, watching clips like what makes a mirror reflect and just other geeky things," her eyes trailed wistfully over the rolling mountains in the distance facing south, green pastures upon green pastures.

          "He was my best friend, and not once did I feel the need to claim him or make him take me to beautiful places because we had all that in the words we spoke to each other and the stupid way he'd kiss me in front of his science teacher like the world didn't matter and tell his friends to go on ahead without him while he gave me a proper goodnight kiss," she gushed, and Nicholas couldn't help but think he was supposed to have that. He wasn't supposed to be this forever untouchable boy who didn't need love and didn't want it. But there were so many experiences, so many heartaches... he didn't know if he could put himself through that. But she made it sound like magic. She made it sound like music and all he wanted to do was write about it in lyrical prose and clef notes.

          "It was just fun and lighthearted, exhilarating and scary. And I think that's when I didn't just think I was in love, but knew that I was. I knew I loved him because I was scared to loose him, and unlike with everyone else, I didn't want to push him away. I just wanted to get closer to him. There was always too much space between us, even when we couldn't possibly get any closer without sewing our skin together or occupying one mind," she finished, tears in her eyes.

          He plucked up a daisy and fastened it in her hair behind her ear where paper clips dangled instead of actual earrings.

          "What was that for?" she smiled up at him, voice hoarse with emotion.

          "Now you're not the only one who knows what lost love feels like," his words brushed over her rosy cheeks.

          "Why should that daisy get an endless field of white stemmed promises when you can't even have a cliché high school romance?" he got up on his feet and held out his hands to help her up. And as they walked away from his little clearing in the woods behind the town, she couldn't help but think that she hated flowers, and then grabbed for Nicholas and his outstretched hand that waited for her to take ahold of.