AWSTEN AND TRAVIS SAID I SHOULD MAKE A PART 2 TO EXPLAIN NATURAL LIGHT AND PACKED SO HERE YOU FUCKING GO (also yes, this is based off of Candle Cove you smart lil fucks)
I know I didn't explain Natural Light and Packed for you guys, I just found them to be a little scary. It's not like they were the most horrifying things that would keep you up at night, but as a kid I just found them to be more disturbing than the rest.
Many wonder why I stopped mentioning John. Where did he go? I'm not completely sure, in fact nobody really knows where he is. I would go into detail now, but it would make more sense if I explained the whole episode.
In Natural Light the entire screen was tinted blue and it took place in the middle of the night. Why? John's bitch ass seemed to think it was good as he did with Jet Talk.
Auto, Austin, and Jeff thought otherwise.
The whole episode was based around one giant mission: find the fucking Easter egg. What is in the fucking Easter egg? We never found out.
In fact I'm glad we never found out because seeing what that Easter egg looked like made me get dizzy. It was like a whole new wave of nausea that I've never felt before. It was like the whole episode was right in front of me.
It started as the three boys sitting around an oval dining room table on Christmas morning talking about their band and where they wanted to be in the future. They wondered if they should change their name to make it fit, they wondered if they should make merch to plaster their faces into every teenage girl's wardrobe, but John had other plans.
You see, John has always wanted to be different and stand out. He definitely stands out with his lighting choices in these episodes as you can tell. John didn't want to see those three losers on every girl's shirt. He felt jealous that he was never on a shirt. He thought that maybe if he pulled a crazy stunt he could be put on the merch as a sign of respect.
The boys were eating crazy-o's, chucking cereal at one another as they slammed bowls on each other's heads. The glass from the bowls shattered all around and into their food, but they still ate it. Jeff shoved a spoon down Auto's throat, Austin slammed Jeff's head off the table before pulling his head back by the eyelids and pouring milk down his throat until he choked. Auto usually never snaps, but it was his breaking point. He took handfuls of the glass filled cereal and shoved it into Jeff and Austin's mouths. As they chewed tears filled their eyes and blood filled their mouths.
They were never the calmest eaters, nor were they the best to spend Christmas with. Instead of a solid Christmas present Austin got the boys American history books and smashed them over their heads until they ripped and the boys were passed out.
Jeff got them photos of Nicholas Cage to put on their walls so they would always remember him. Auto was the only one who got genuine gifts for the two. Auto was always the sweetest to begin with. He got Austin new bass strings along with hair dye, and he got Jeff a Zelda necklace and some hairspray.
Austin obviously took the hairspray and sprayed it into Jeff's eyes, but that scene quickly cut out as Jeff started screaming.
Anyways, back to when everything seemed to get calm.
The camera began to shake and the audio became scratchy as if John had his hand covering the mic. All we could see was his dark red t-shirt and his brown leather belt. The screen went black as the camera was placed down and finally we could see again.
We saw natural light pouring into our tv screens as the shot of a grown mans ass was in the center of the tv. We all knew it was John because he soon came to his damn senses and got out of the camera's way. He crouched down in front of it until all three boys were in frame in their horrible physical appearances. Blood dripped from their mouths as a mixture of tears and milk fell from their eyes. Glass poked out of their skin as the front part of their hair was soaked with whatever hit them. Not a single one of them looked content.