Love, Kat

I Recommend Some Netflix

Once done, I get my books, recollect my academic mind, and suck it up before walking into class.

Everyday since freshman year, my afterschool life has been spent on the cold hard bleachers to the football field. Everyday I sit here, with a book in my hand, and the presence of a whole football team in front of me. I've seen my father yell at Kai countless times, and Kai yell at my father countless times; it's on going battle of who's right in the matter of football. Most of the time it's dad, Kai knows it too but refuses to be wrong.

Westfield Academy is known for it's constant undefeated streak in football, not one game lost in the past five years. And at the end of every season, we are in the same Championship game always winning the state cup. We are good, and it doesn't take a anti-social like me to know that.

"Noah, if you don't get your head out of your ass, you're going to find the view of us losing mighty fine from the bench! Catch the damn ball!" My dad hollers throwing up his board. I agree with him, Noah is off his A-game today and I think it's confusing us all. With my brother as quarterback and Noah as running back, you wonder why we don't lose games, but today something's off.

Noah, who's stuck in some kind of funk, has dropped at least five balls thrown by my brother. Wherever his mind is, it better find its way back before Friday's game.

Class went by faster than I thought. Usually Biology goes by slower than molasses, even with Luke sitting next to me, but since I missed the first fifteen minutes, it went by faster than lightening. Luke, who thank god didn't bring up lunch, talked an earful during a video on rat dissection, in some weird way eased my fragile mind.

"Noah! Go take a run!" A loud whistle knocks me back into reality as I watch Noah throw off his helmet and begin to jog around the track. To save him from embarrassment, I turn away and go back to reading the adventures of Hessa on Wattpad.

Between now and fifteen minutes later, Kai leaves with an hour left in practice, leaving the second string QB to take his place. Noah's earned his place back as the running back we all know, and finally manages to catch a ball to all our amusement.

When practice ends, my dad is the first person to leave, probably on his way to a patient, which means me tutoring Noah is really about to happen. Other than this morning I have never been alone with Noah Caster, not once. There's always been Kai or some class that's eased the awkwardness of being alone with him, so by now my nerves are jumping. He's not just giving my a ride home, he's going to get out of the car, follow me in and sit with me like him and Kai never existed.  How I feel about this I'm not sure.

I wait at the entrance of the football stadium waiting for Noah to get out of the showers, hoping the events from early don't make everything more awkward. Like every teen, I stay on my phone so I don't look so weird standing by myself, as I wait for the famous Caster to walk out. It's been ten minutes already.

By twenty minutes, I'm starting to get bored. My book has finished and I've been leaning against the gait for what seems like forever. I start to wonder if I was supposed to meet Noah at the car, so I pick my bags up from off the floor and head to where we parked this morning.

The car isn't there.

He wouldn't. Would he actually leave me stranded without a ride?

Looking around, I search for the black Audi, and from the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of a blonde Farah stepping into a familiar R8, before it drives off. He would.

He ditched me to go mess around with the wicked bitch of the west.

By why should I be surprised, it's Noah? Noah, who is only ever serious about who he's fucking each night, wouldn't give the time of day to a girl like me. I knew better, but how come I still feel so disappointed?

With crushed expectations, I start to walk toward home.

When it rains.

~~~

Half an hour later, soaked from head-to-toe, I finally make it home. In order to keep my books from getting too wet, I used my jacket as a backpack cover up, which means I'm cold as shit and wetter than a water park.

Of course, no one is home when I get there, nothing new. Alone and completely done with life for the day, I slide my key into the locked door, and step into the silence of my home that isn't really a home.

It's seven now, and with nothing to do, I head straight for a hot shower. Shivering, I wait for the water to heat up before jumping in letting the comfort off a couple trillion hydrogen and oxygen molecules keep me warm. I'm not even washing, just standing there like I looked into the eyes of Medusa; frozen.

When I'm all warm and rinsed off, out of the shower and dressed for bed, I'm still alone. And from here I figure this will be how the rest of my life will be, alone.

I say I don't like attention and I hate large crowds, but that doesn't mean I want to be lonely. It doesn't mean that being in a house by myself is the most comforting thing in the world, on most occasions. I still like the presence of someone being there, and right now, no one is.

So, with nothing left to do in this life of mine, I carry myself to bed. Curling up in the heat of my comforter. One of the last things I hear is the knock of the front door going on for five minutes, too lazy to care to open it. The very last sound I hear is the voice of Lana Del Rey singing me to sleep as my ringtone plays over and over again, before my eyes become to heavy to keep open.

And I fade into slumber.